“Stop answering questions with questions.” I counter. “Answer mine and I’ll answer yours. That’s the deal.”
“I came to get the divorce papers signed.” He huffs out an exhausted breath.Me too buddy.“Now, it’s your turn. Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“Maybe, I’m just tired of waiting for you.” The words fall out of my mouth so easily and I’m suddenly aware that I finally have words to go with what I’ve been feeling for so fucking long.
The expression on his face morphs again, into something resembling shock and maybe a little pain but while I didn’t plan to say it, I’m glad I did. There are parts of me that wish I could keep my cool. Remain firm and stand my ground. Show him how much I hate him and how over him I truly am. But it’s all afucking lie, And there’s no denying that admitting something I’ve tried so hard to suppress feels amazing.
Itisthe truth, after all. I waited. And waited. And then waited some more, never allowing anyone else to get too close… not even Demetria. I waited for him to come back for me. For him to tell me this was all some big misunderstanding.
Was I really supposed to wait again? To what? Watch him fuck around with the woman I love?I don’t fucking think so.
“Raegan…” Hearing him say my name, so soft and tenderly and… loving, makes my head spin and forces me to squeeze my eyes shut. When I finally feel like I can open them, he’s right fucking there. Close enough that I have to crane my neck to meet those baby blues of his.
“I’m sorry.”
Two words I never thought I’d hear. Even now, I’m not sure what to do with them.
The tips of my ears burn with rage as I come back to planet earth and remember what I’ve been through and what I came here to do.
“You’re sorry?” I ask, lifting a questioning brow.
“Really fucking sorry. I didn’t want to lose you, but it was all so… complicated.”
My heart pounds aggressively against my ribcage. Red paints the insides of my eyelids as literal smoke threatens to billow from my ears. Lose me? What the actual fuck?
“You’re really going to stand there and tell me it’scomplicated?” My hands find his chest and I shove against him as hard as I can. “That you didn’t want to lose me?” Shove. “Fucking lose me?” Shove.
“Raegan, take a breath.”
“I will not be doing that or anything else you feel the need to order me to do.”
“Okay,” he mutters, raising both arms in surrender. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that,” I shout, pointing at him for added effect. My body is vibrating with more anger each time he speaks with his perfect, dumb mouth. “You don’t get to apologize after twenty fucking years.”
“Rae–”
“No!” A lump forms in my throat as I shout the word at him. I need him to stop. I need these rampant emotions swirling in my head to fucking stop before I…
The tears fall before I can stop them. They fall hard and fast. Each one is agonizingly heavier than the last. My shoulders start to shake and my chest heaves as mere tears transition into a silent sob.
“You didn’t lose me, Hayes,” I choke out between ragged breaths. “You fuckingleftme.”
17
Hayes
Ishouldn’t be here.
As soon as Demi and I finished in the classroom and I made sure she was okay, I went to my office and found it concerningly empty, aside from the divorce papers Ben dropped off while I was teaching.
Thankfully, Axel was in his office and he was able to find her hotel information pretty quick. Generally, I try to stay out of his office for fear of seeing something I shouldn’t–sexual or otherwise–but this couldn’t wait. I’ll go back to pretending everything he does is above board tomorrow.
I also happen to know–thanks to Axel–that she was watching the entire time I taught my class. Meaning she saw me tie Demi up and also saw me make her come.
It couldn’t have been easy watching someone else touch her ex so intimately.
When I saw her on the camera, literally running out of the building, it was a no-brainer to come check on her.
