I was early. I know. That’s my own damn fault. I debated for over an hour if I should go or wait. I can’t even say for sure what made me choose the former, but there’s a long list of things I’ve done that I never fully thought through. I didn’t think. I just acted.
Two of those things are now somehow entangled with one another, like a cruel twist of karmic justice where my punishment is to live with the fact that the two loves of my life have somehow been thrust together just to torture me.
I should have just waited in his office, like he asked me to. Did I? Of course not, because I’m a fucking glutton for punishment. Demi was looking way too delicious in her crop top and fucking underwear and Hayes said something about teaching a class.
I admit, I was curious.
So, I wandered the club, which, by the way… is amazing. When I came upon the room he was teaching in, I was unable to tear my eyes away from all that transpired.
Hayes… teaching strangers how to use rope safely. Watching him show them where to put the rope on a wrist. I stood there and rubbed my left wrist that’s never healed right as I remembered the last night we were together. Injury aside, It was beautiful, fun and erotic. It was the first time I really knew I wanted to explore the lifestyle more.
He gave me that.
And then he disappeared in the middle of the night without an explanation.
One of the best–and worst–nights of my life.
Tonight… watching him tie her up. Then taunting her until she begged him to make her come. And then seeing his fingers disappear inside of her until she found her release… It was easily one of the most erotic sights to ever have been seen. Unfortunately, it was also the most painful and that’s a hard bar to reach.
So, like any other emotionally damaged adult… I ran. I ran so fucking fast. My lungs were fighting for air I wasn’t going to find within those walls.
I squeeze my eyes tight, fighting the heavy tears beginning to fill my eyes, threatening to be set free as every detail of his hands on her replay in my mind.
My husband. My Demetria. My heart aches with a fucked up and twisted need to have them both. But I need to remember, I can’t because I hate him and I hurt her.
There’s also a strong chance theybothhate me.
A hard knock shakes the door against my back and I freeze until I hear the sound return. It’s louder this time.
Pushing to stand on shaky legs, I peer through the peep hole and see nothing. I release the chain and deadbolt. When I open the door, my breath hitches as my hand flies to cover my mouth.
“Can I come in?” Hayes asks softly, his eyes pleading and filled with a sadness I didn’t recognize earlier.
I pause for a moment, contemplating all the possible scenarios of how this could go. We may hate each other but I don’t believe he’d ever intentionally hurt me. He’s not a fucking monster.
“Sure,” I answer as I pull the door farther open for him. He doesn’t hesitate to walk through.
My eyes burn as they follow him. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his black slacks causing them to pull against the firm globes of his ass, that I shouldn’t be noticing and his dress shirt is tight against his arms and shoulders but loose and open, revealing the lightest amount of chest hair. At least he had the forethought to put on a fucking shirt before stopping by. Thank God for small favors.
Speaking of… “How the hell did you find me, Hayes?”
His back is still to me as he quietly and calmly mutters, “You left.”
“I did.”
He turns his head to peer over his shoulder. “Why?”
“You fucking first, asshole. I never told you where I was staying. How. Did. You. Find. Me?”
“Let’s just say, I know a guy.”
Great. He’s being cryptic now.
“You know you didn’t actually answer the question, right?” I pause to give him another chance but he remains silent. “If you’re not going to answer that one, then answer this. What are you doing here?”
He turns to face me, his face no longer covered in sadness. I can’t quite tell if he’s just hiding it or if it’s really gone.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” he asks and it does nothing to tamper my growing irritation.
