“Ryker,” she hurries up to me, placing both hands on my chest. I look down at them and wonder why I ever thought she was someone I wanted to be with. She’s superficial, vain and thinks she’s better than everyone else around her, including her children. “What took you so long? I’m getting tired. Let’s go to bed.”
“Christine. No,” I say firmly as I pull her hands off me. “Sit down. We need to talk.”
She plops her ass on the couch so suddenly, she almost bounces back off, and places her hands neatly in her lap.
“What’s this about?”
Taking the seat at the opposite end of the couch, I consider her for a moment.
Nope, there’s nothing there. No spark, no… nothing.
“This isn’t working for me, so I won’t be staying.”
She lets out a heavy gasp. “What? Why?”
“Aside from the fact that I now know you’re faking your disability? You’re pretty clever to get away with that shit for so long.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t.” I don’t really give a fuck that she’s cheating the system, but I do care that it’s just another example of what a shitty person she is. “There’s also the part where I don’t love you and I think whatever this is, has run its course. The way you treat Arabella is hideous, and I can’t be with someone who doesn’t show their children all the love and support any good parent should.” I make sure to emphasize the ‘good’ in my reasoning, trying to drive the point home. Because Christine is about the farthest from a good mother as I’ve ever seen.
“But tonight–that’s just one time. Surely, you can’t break up with me because of one tenuous interaction between a mother and a daughter. Parents and children don’t always see eye to eye.”
Except it wasn’t just one time. I can’t even count on both hands how many times I’ve sat by and watched it happen, and I’m ashamed that it took me this long to speak up and do something about it.
“You and I both know, it’s not just this one time, Christine,” I chastise. “If I have children one day, I want them to have a mother that shows and tells them every day how precious they are. How loved they are. How worthy they are. How just existing and breathing the same air is enough. A mother that never withholds their love for selfish reasons. They should never question how much they’re loved and cherished. That’s just not how you operate and I won’t sit by and watch it anymore.”
“Fuck you, Ryker,” she yells. “Like I would ever want to have children with you anyway. All they do is suck out your souls and drain you dry. They’re leeches. I should have sent that bitch daughter of mine with her father, when he left. But he wouldn’t have wanted her either. And you don’t know the shit I went through to get myself here. Do you have any idea how muchmoney he took when he left? I make more money on disability than I ever did at my nine to five.”
I can see we’re at the shouty petty betty stage of the breakup. I could continue fighting with her about this, but what’s the point?
I’m already over it.
“Goodbye Christine. Say hi to Wesley for me.”
63
Arabella
Ican’t find it in me to pull out of the parking spot.
My heart feels like it’s splitting in two and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt a pain like this in my life. Silent sobs rack my body as I try to make sense of what just happened.
How were we confessing our love yesterday and today we’re nothing?
Putting my car in reverse, I pull slowly out of the parking spot and wipe my eyes. I need to get home. “Home,” I whisper to no one and the word feels dry on my tongue when I think of the shitty apartment Iusedto call home. Ryker is my home, but he won’t be there, so I guess maybe he’s not anymore.
I pull my phone from my purse, and press my best friend’s contact. It almost goes to voicemail, but she answers at the last minute. “Arabella, hi.”
The words don’t come as I continue to sob over the phone.
“Hey, babe. What’s going on?”
“H–he ended it,” I manage to choke out between labored breaths.
“What?” she sounds confused for a moment, before what I’m trying to tell her registers. “Oh, shit. Okay. Where are you?”
“Driving. Home.” Those two words are all I’m able to get out at the moment, but they do their job.
