“Got it. I’ll meet you there. Please be careful.”
Thankfully, I’m almost back to my apartment by the time she hangs up the phone.
I feel numb and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. I stay in my car, paralyzed by the fear of what it will mean to walk back into this apartment that I haven’t seen in months.
Will it feel like none of it ever happened?
Or will I feel the loss and have to go through the five stages of grief? Unfortunately, I think I already know the answer.
A knock on my window jump scares me out of my own thoughts and I look up to see Wrinley’s face. She opens the door and reaches for my hands, pulling me to my feet.
“Come on, babe. Let’s get you inside.”
I immediately gasp as my hands fly up to cover my mouth. My eyes roam around the room slowly as I take in the apartment I don’t recognize. The cheap hardwood floor is now covered with an almost wall to wall area rug that looks like it’s made out of plush purple sheepskin. On any other day, I would jump at the chance to roll around on it–naked–just to feel it all over my bare skin.
“That new?” Wrinley asks.
“Yeah,” I mutter under my breath. It looks like someone took a power washer to the walls. They look so clean. I’d swear they’ve been painted, but there’s no way. My eyes move over to theuntouched black leather couch in the middle of the room, facing a brand new flat screen TV that still has the full front sticker on it. Running my hand over the couch slowly, it feels new, and based on the smell of fresh leather in the air, I’d say I’m right.
“Hey, Ari,” Wrinley calls. “Over here.”
She’s standing in my sectioned off dining room. When I get to her, I see she’s holding a note. I don’t even need to read it to know who it’s from.
Bella,
It took me all day, but I made sure everything in your apartment is up to a reasonable minimum standard for how you should be living. All the utilities are paid, including your rent, so take the time you need to do what you want for a change and not what anyone else expects of you. You deserve it. Hell, you deserve everything in this world and I hope with all my heart you take it.
I’m so incredibly proud of the woman you have grown to be. And for what it’s worth, you’ve always been that woman. You didn’t need me. You never did.
You’re so strong, and so worthy. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t all those things and more.
I know you hate me right now, but one day, I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. If that time ever comes, I’ll be here waiting for you.
I love you always, R
P.S. I went to the grocery store. The fridge is stocked with all your favorites. Don’t forget to eat.
Fuck.
Why does he have to be so fucking perfect, even when I’m pissed off and brokenbecauseof him. The tears start flowing again as I close my eyes and slide down to the floor, wondering where I go from here.
I feel Wrinley slide up next to me with a slight bump, but I don’t open my eyes. I can’t stop the tears anymore. I can hear her pull the note from my hands to read it out loud, and it only serves to tear the wound open a little more.
“Wow. What a jerk.” Now I do open my eyes to regard her with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, what kind of asshole renovates the old apartment of his lady, so she has all the comforts he can’t give her anymore. It’s a real hardship and a straight up dick move, if you ask me.”
I hear the sarcasm in her voice, loud and clear as we stare at each other. Our silence says it all. Then she breaks the silence with her giddy laughter and I can’t help but follow her lead.
“I miss him already, Wrin.”
“I know. I have a feeling that’s not going to change anytime soon. But if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re strong and you’ll get through this. I have faith in you.” Her head plops down on my shoulder and she sighs. “I know your mother has done a number on you and you don’t believe you can do anything you set your mind to, but I’ll believe it for you if you need me to.”
Her words bounce around in my head as we sit here on the kitchen floor, contemplating our life choices. Well… my life choices.
“I love you, Wrin.”
“I love you too, Ari.”
64
