Yeah. Years.
There was a moment of silence between us as the drizzle lessened, a light fog now rising from the valley. Soon, the mountains would be obscured.
“Do you ever get lonely living here by yourself?”
“Not really. The quiet suits me. The mountains. The fresh air. Nature. Bears.”
She cocked her head and the action caught my eye. “You can’t scare me away with bears, Stephen.”
“Axe.”
“Stephen.” She laughed and the sound sent a wave of energy through me that curled the tips of my fingers.
“So confession time. What are you doing here? Home to rethink your life? From what you’ve told me I’m surprised you set foot back in Missoula.”
“My choices were to either come back home or move into an apartment with money that I don’t really have.”
“You, Miss Big Shot Attorney?” The routine of teasing her was an easy and comfortable role to fall back into.
“Ha! While I won a scholarship, it was only for the first two years of college. Not law school. My student loans could eat me alive.”
“Wait. Your parents didn’t pay for college?”
“My father offered to pay for Missoula College or University of Montana. When I said Columbia, he told me that I’d need to pay for it myself, so I found a way. He didn’t think I’d last, crawling back to him.”
“God, what an asshole.” I hadn’t realized I’d fisted my hand until I noticed her look of amusement. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’ve felt the same way many times. Dad needs me for something. I don’t know if I’m curious or just at a crossroads in my life.” She rolled her eyes. “You know how he always had a better idea.”
“Yeah, he did and I’d watch yourself.” He’d struggled significantly over the years as so many ranchers had. Times were tough for everyone. The horrible weather patterns hadn’t helped over the years, horrific fires claiming thousands of acres. But Bartholomew Sterling wasn’t known for his reputable business practices.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like for your parents to have three children as smokejumpers. I do remember seeing Will on the news when I was here one summer. Didn’t he win an award or something? He saved the lives of several people?”
With little communication with her family, there was no way for her to know about the tragedy that had occurred. There was also no reason that her asking a simple question should cause me to bristle.
But I did and I couldn’t seem to stop the wave of anger and sadness, despair so intense that for a few seconds, I was right back where I’d been weeks before.
She noticed a change in my demeanor, moving to the edge of the swing.
“What?” she pressed.
“Nothing.”
“No, I can tell when you’re holding something back. Did something happen I’m not aware of?”
The hard clench of my jaw created an ache. “Leave it alone, Kenz.”
She started to climb off the swing, her eyes darting back and forth. “Stephen. Talk to me. Please.”
“I said, let it go,” I growled. “And my name is Axe.”
I stormed toward the door, unable to talk about what had happened, the swell of emotions unwanted and unneeded. Why had she dared bring up my family? Goddamn it.
“What is wrong? Are you feeling like you’re in your brother’s shadow or something? Did I hit a nerve?”
I threw open the door, completely determined to shut her out. The pain was that significant. That horrible. That…
Something snapped inside of me.
