“Bullshit. You’re panicking because you’re scared. I see right through that act of yours.”
I bristled, my hand tightening around the glass. “It’s not an act. Shit, now we’re going around in circles.”
She gave me a faint smile. “Dad leaving… it messed us all up. But at some point, it has to stop being an excuse.”
I laughed, a hollow sound that was anything but funny. “An excuse? Harper, our father walked out on us over a decade ago, and we’re still picking up the pieces. All of us in one way or another. Tell me how that’s not a valid reason to be cautious.”
Harper tilted her head and stared straight at me. “I’m not saying it isn’t valid. And you deserve to be happy. But I also need to point out that you could be playing with dynamite here. And it might blow up in your face.”
Sudden heat rose in my cheeks. “Dynamite? What the hell does that mean?”
“Well, for starters, if you’re only telling me now, I’m thinking not too many people know about this torrid affair.”
“You’re right. And that’s how we want it, okay?”
“Because you don’t want Mom to know about it.Secrets have a way of coming out, Eli, but that’s not what I meant by dynamite.”
“Go on,” I prodded, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
“I mean you’re falling for her,” Harper said simply.
The accusation landed like a punch. I stared into my soda, watching the bubbles rise and dissipate. “I am not.”
Harper’s laugh was sharp. “Right. Because running is so much easier than actually feeling something.”
I wanted to argue. To deflect. To crack a joke about how she sounded like a bad therapy podcast. Instead, I just sat there. Silent. Knowing she was right.
“Hey. Look at me.”
I lifted my gaze, meeting her warm brown eyes. The same eyes our mom had. The same eyes that always seemed to see straight through my carefully constructed defenses.
Her lips lifted in an encouraging smile. “You two make a lot of sense in a weird way. You could stand to take things more seriously, and Julianne could stand to lighten up a little. You balance each other.”
I couldn’t help smiling as my eyes grew unfocused. Because it was Jules’s smile I saw. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that too.”
“Eli.”
I met her serious gaze.
“I’ll say it again. You’re. Not. Dad. Maybe it’s time to step out from his shadow.”
I swallowed hard as something threatened to crack open inside my chest. I nodded, then dropped my gaze to the table again. “Thanks, but I still feel like I have no idea how to handle any of this.”
My head snapped up in surprise as Harper’s laughsounded. “You think any of us know what we’re doing? You think I do?”
I scoffed. “You’ve got your shit together more than anyone I know. Look at Finn.”
Her smile fell as she stared back at me. “Yeah, look at him. You think I don’t worry every single night about whether I’m doing right by him? Whether he needs a dad in his life and not just uncles? Eli, I’m making it up as I go. Just like you.”
I reached across and gave her hand a squeeze. “Well, stop worrying. He’s a great kid and you’re a great mom.” I let go and pointed at her. “And Finn’s uncles are better than any dad could ever be. He’s a lucky kid to have us.”
Finally, the tension broke as we both laughed and took a drink of our Cokes. I felt better having confessed to Harper, but she still hadn’t convinced me anything serious could work out between Jules and me. Maybe my sister thought I could change my ways and get serious, but I knew better.
The door opening signaled Mom’s arrival, and I straightened. Harper shot me a look that said our conversation wasn’t over, but I pointedly ignored it.
“There are my two troublemakers,” Mom said, sliding into the booth next to Harper. Her silver-streaked hair was pulled back in a barrette, and her eyes crinkled with warmth.
“Hey, Mom,” I drawled, relaxing again as I leaned back. “Troublemakers? Us? I’m wounded.”
