He waves his hand around the sanctuary. “This isn’t traditionally how we do things. Tension has been high. There is no shortage of veneration for your husband.”
“Thank you.” I pump Axel’s hand because it’s evident that they feel bad. “My husband deserves the respect of everyone here because he’s the kind of man who shows up and carries burdens, like I’m sure he’s done for many of you. But tension has been high all around, so I understand.”
“Good,” Wells goes on just as Gage strolls in, seemingly to a summons. “We’d like you to join Gage in the lead enforcer position for KORT, being the premier assassin for the organization. He specializes in interrogation, which can be tedious, so we think you’d be a perfect complement as a neutralizer.”
Tedious interrogation.Yep. That guy sucks the souls out of people, and yet he’s as sweet as can be with his family, which is what gives me my answer.
“I’m honored. Truly. That speaks to the skill I’ve worked hard to achieve.” I peer at the pride on my father’s face and then my husband’s before addressing the chairs again. “But I think it would be a conflict of interest.”
“That is a respectful consideration.” Jared gestures to my dad. “But your father has already agreed to let you work solely for us. Many of his people will be joining us.”
I like that our camp will be aligning with KORT, but that doesn’t shape my response any differently.
“That’s not the conflict I was referring to.” I glance at my husband again, who is fiddling with his watch out of habit, and I smile. “Axel and I both have a fascination with roulette, but I’ve been playing with a revolver. It’s time to set that down and spin his wheel. I don’t consider myself leaving the game. But it’s time to prioritize. I will, of course, support KORT. That support will be manifested through La Lune Noire and my dedication to the global safe-haven sites that Axel is establishing. But being a Noire is my top priority.”
Axel enfolds me, his lips wetting the shell of my ear. “I don’t need that from you, Zar. This is a big opportunity. If you want it, take it.”
“I know, but …” I pull my head back and let our eyes collide. “This is me fighting for me, like you encouraged me to do. I want the musical-chairs and floor-is-lava mash-up. I want translating and erecting empires and babies. I want nooners between soccer practice and PTA meetings, not hits. I want us.”
He mocked me once about my future of being an assassin between motherly duties. I was mad, but only because it resonated. And since it came to his mind, I think even then, some part of him saw a plausible future with me, which renders it a memory I’m grateful for.
“Babies?” he rasps with more heat than this cathedral or the duplicitous cabal leaders should witness.
“Yes.” I kiss the corner of his mouth. “Later.”
We finish the meeting with Wells and the other KORT chairs, who agree to release me from any assassin-related obligations. And just like that, I’m free. Well, maybe not just like that. Ten hard years later—ten years of wondering if I was soulless. So, maybe it’s fitting that when I secure the type of freedom assassins rarely achieve, I do it in a forgotten house of worship.
I have far too many sacrifices to lay on that altar. And here, on holy ground, the issue of whether the monsters I slayedearned that damnation chimes like a blared hymn from the massive pipe organ. Those sacred connections I held with as much honor as I could bought me a pass I don’t deserve. All I can do is live in a way that pays tribute to the gift of a beating heart and a buried stone.
My father yanks me into a hug, holding my head and battling overwhelming emotion. “I’m so proud of you, angel, so unbelievably proud.” But disappointment mars his face as he pulls back. “Except for one thing. Axel realizing who you were when you first arrived at La Lune Noire was only a problem because you being the asset wasn’t the plan. I was afraid it would seem to KORT like we had our own agenda because of what had happened to your mom. I knew you being compromised didn’t affect your safety though. And I was hard on you to help them set the stage for the loyalty test—something I did to ensure you were protected. But you believed I’d let someone neutralize you? That I’d sanction it?”
“Nothing made sense, but …” Guilt clogs my throat. “You always told me that death was more certain in an assassin’s world than living was. That we should prepare for it.”
“Because I wanted you to grasp what you’d gotten yourself into, not because I’d stand by and accept it.” His jaw locks, failure washing over him. “I’m your father first.”
“Okay.” I nod, sneaking a peek at Axel watching us. “So, you’re not mad about the marriage? That was part of this ruse?”
“I was at first,” he admits, “because you were entangled in something bigger than me. If you stepped wrong, I wouldn’t be able to fix it.”
“And now?”
“Now, I see that you are in the most capable hands. Tripp changed his tune after he heard that Axel came to see me too.” His gaze flicks to my husband before he swallows thickly and utters words I’ve desperately needed to hear. “And despite yourmother’s fate, she would’ve loved him. He fought for you, Zara. More vehemently than I could’ve imagined. And clearly, he lets you embrace who you are.”
“He does.” I dab my eyes, not wanting to be emotional here. “With or without my pistol.”
After another hug, he strides to my husband, shaking his hand, thanking him, and welcoming him to the family before we part ways. Then Axel and I say our goodbyes to everyone else and manage to sneak out.
“You are astounding, Zar. You handle everything with such grace. I’m sorry I had to put you through that.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re not?” His smile is audible as we both gape at the full moon over this daunting winter street.
“No. You can’t marvel at the brightness of the stars without welcoming the night.”
“A Zara original.” He chuckles and sweeps me into his arms, branding me with a bone-shattering kiss and carrying me to our waiting car. “Any other wisdom from my poetic wife?”
“You’re the wise, poetic one, with the silver-specked hair to prove it.” I drag my gloved fingers across the diamond choker that symbolizes our relationship. “If you’ve taught me anything, Mr. Noire, it’s to embrace it all. You’ve filled my life with love, home, and family—gifts I never saw coming.” My eyes hitch to the sapphires that have held treasure after treasure for me. “With you, I cherish the beauty and the thorns.”
