‘Patricio,’ she said softly, as if calming a wild animal, ‘that is not how it happened.’
‘Jack was the one who left in the morning. I went to find him, but I couldn’t and then I overheard him telling the captain it was all...’ She paused. Even now the words stuck in her throat painfully. ‘It was all a mistake. I assumed he meant it and...’ She considered whether to reveal herself. It seemed only fair. ‘And let’s just say that it is not the first time that a man has said that about me, so I wasn’t going to wait around and be made a fool of.’
She searched his face and was relieved to see a trickle of empathy.
‘He didn’t mean that, Sofia,’ Patricio said hesitantly, ‘or maybe he thought he did when he said it, but he doesn’t really. Surely you must know what men are like?’
Sofia snorted in bemusement. ‘Apparently not.’
Patricio looked deep into her eyes. ‘They so often do not know their own hearts; they think only with their minds.’
‘I think maybe I am guilty of that too,’ she admitted.
Patricio suddenly looked hopeful. ‘And what do you feel in your heart?’
‘That I love him.’ The words tumbled out before Sofia could stop them. Patricio pulled her into a tight hug.
‘I knew it,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘I am certain that he feels the same. You must tell each other immediately.’ Patricio pulled away, a bundle of excitement, his demeanour transformed. Sofia did not know how to tell him that she would never do that, that she would rather leave and let Jack have the life he had always dreamed of.
‘You have to tell him too, Patricio.’ She thought of the little boy grieving for his mother all alone. ‘He is always looking for her and she is a part of you, so he has been looking for you too.’ Patricio blinked tears and this time it was Sofia who pulled him into a hug. He sobbed softly against her shoulder.
‘None of them were ever supposed to know,’ he began, his words muffled by her hair. ‘The Americans,’ he clarified. He leant back, scrubbing at his eyes with the backs of his hands. ‘She got pregnant with me almost as soon as she returned to Capri, and she was still married then so it was very shameful.’ He hung his head, as though he was to blame. ‘My father worked for the family and when I was born I went to live with him and my grandmother. He tells me that she would often come to visit me,’ he sniffed, holding back more tears, ‘but I was not even three years old when she passed.’
Looking at him standing here in front of her, Sofia could not believe that she had not clocked the connection the moment they met. The angular jaw and full lips, the dark hair – even their build was similar, although Jack was taller. And in those same green eyes, that same deep sorrow she had seen that very morning on the deck.
‘I never even knew her.’ The tears cascaded down his cheeks.
‘She was amazing.’ Sofia smiled, wiping away the drops as they fell. ‘And Jack would love nothing more than to tell you all about her.’ Patricio nodded, gulping. Sofia rubbed his back gently until his breathing slowed.
Chapter Forty-Seven
The crackle from the radio made Sofia and Patricio both jump, so long and comfortably they had stood together in the quiet kitchen.
‘All crew report to the main saloon, immediately.’ It was Captain Mary’s voice, and they did as they were told. Sofia felt uneasy as she climbed the stairs. Usually crew matters were conducted in the mess, away from prying eyes. It felt disconcertingly formal to have a meeting above sea level.
The mood was tense when they walked in. Jack, Petra, Stuart and Declan were already sitting in a semicircle.
Sofia noticed that Petra and Stuart were sitting especially close, the sides of their legs conspicuously touching.
‘Thank you all for convening so swiftly.’ Captain Mary was standing and gestured for Sofia and Patricio to take a seat. They slid in beside Declan. Sofia wasn’t sure she could bear to be so close to Jack, knowing the decision she had just made to take herself far away.
‘I’ve had...’ the captain stopped to consider the most appropriate phrasing ‘...an interesting morning.’ Sideways glances were exchanged. Between Petra and Stuart a sly smile. Between Patricio and Declan a raised eyebrow. Sofia looked over at Jack to see him staring straight ahead.
‘Over the course of the past four hours, four of you have handed in your notice,’ the captain said evenly. This time the reaction was universal: shock.
‘What? Four? Who?’ It was Declan, voicing the questions on everyone’s mind.
‘First thing I had a visit from our dear Petra, and then from Stuart. They have both informed me that after this season, they wish to step down from their roles.’ Sofia looked over to see Petra reach for Stuart’s hand. When she spoke she was gazing at him.
‘We’ve decided to...’ she stammered, smiling into her lap and then recovered herself ‘...to try out life on land, together.’
Sofia must have been the single person in the room for whom this was not a total surprise and still she was struck silent by shock.
‘I’m sorry, what?’ Jack looked completely stunned. ‘I didn’t even realise you two. I...’ Sofia realised that she’d never quite pieced together how long they had all known each other, but to have made it to the top of their respective career ladders, she supposed that Jack, Stuart and Petra must go a long way back.
Stuart blushed. ‘It wasn’t an easy decision to come to, and I know it seems all very sudden, but Petra and I had a long talk and we realised that it’s something we both want.’ He looked up at the captain apologetically. ‘To try this thing out properly, and give it a real shot, away from this...’ everyone was being careful with their words it seemed ‘...hectic lifestyle.’
‘So you two are leaving yachting?’ Declan again.
