The captain looked shocked for a second and then recovered herself. ‘I see,’ she said evenly, leaning back in her chair. ‘And may I ask what has led you to take this decision?’
Another deep breath. ‘May I be candid?’ The stress of the situation seemed to be turning her into a Victorian lady.
‘Please do.’ The captain was growing impatient.
‘I lied to you, Captain, when I told you that I did not have feelings for Jack... I mean Officer Carter... That wasn’t... isn’t true and I don’t want to jeopardise his career. He loves working here, on this boat, with you, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to take that away from him because we... I can’t maintain a purely professional relationship with him.’ Her panic had subsided, replaced by a calm sense of knowing. She was doing the right thing. ‘So, if you’ll have me, I would still like to finish the charter, but I won’t be vying for the permanent position after that.’
‘I see.’ The captain seemed to be deep in thought. ‘Have you spoken to Officer Carter about your decision?’
‘No,’ Sofia said firmly, ‘this is my choice, and I stand by it.’
‘All right.’ The captain stood up and reached her hand across the table. ‘If you have made your choice, I can only thank you for coming to me and letting me know. I will have a think about the best course of action in terms of this charter but, may I just say, we’ll be sad to lose you.’
Sofia shook the captain’s hand. ‘Thank you, for everything. I have learnt so much and really enjoyed myself. You cannot know how much I needed that.’
Sentimentality was obviously not the captain’s forte. She nodded curtly and led Sofia to the door. ‘Good day,’ she said as she left Sofia in the corridor.
She didn’t know what she had expected but it had ended up feeling anticlimactic, especially as it was already time to get started on lunch. She made her way back to the kitchen. Ever a slave to the meal schedule, she began dutifully chopping.
***
When Patricio came to collect the dishes, Sofia didn’t even flinch when he noted that the Spanish omelette looked a little underdone, she just slid it back into the pan for a minute and then replated it. Once he had flounced out of the room, she resolved to confront him when he returned. She had nothing left to lose after all. They would only be colleagues for another couple of weeks, maybe less, if the captain decided to kick her out at the next port stop.
When he laid the empties on the counter, he turned to leave without saying a word. Sofia had already faced a difficult conversation that morning. What was one more?
‘Patricio, can I have a word?’ He spun on his heel, hands on hips, smirking. She could hardly remember the old Patricio, so sweet and conscientious, so dramatic was his personality transplant.
‘Yes?’
‘I was just hoping we could clear the air.’ Sofia tried to sound breezy. She felt like giving the situation too much gravitas would play into Patricio’s melodrama. ‘I’ve noticed that you’ve been a bit short with me recently.’
Patricio responded by curling his lip.
‘What did I do?’ She had slipped into exasperation. ‘Is it because of Declan?’
Patricio sniffed.
‘Please, just tell me.’ Now she was begging.
Patricio indulged in the tension, taking his time before replying. ‘OK, Sofia, you want to know the truth?’
Sofia nodded.
‘Obviously I feel sorry for my friend Declan. It is clear that he feels very strongly for you, and he is hurting because now he knows that you do not feel the same way about him.’ He spoke slowly and deliberately. ‘But the person I am hurting for, whom you have wronged, that is Jack.’
Sofia blinked, confused.
Patricio seemed to find her reaction infuriating. ‘I am angry because you have treated them both like they are disposable. Declan is young and he will get over it, but Jack, I have never seen him open up like this with anyone. He is... well not so young, and it takes a lot for him to let down his...’ he was shouting and waving his arms around, frustrated to be at a loss for vocabulary ‘...how do you say? Walls? His defences, his barriers!
‘That night when you told me that you had been together, I was so happy. Finally I thought he might have a chance at love. He might start to believe that it was possible for him, but then you...’ He trailed off, and shot her a look she could only describe as one of revulsion. He sighed theatrically and crossed his arms. ‘You broke his heart, left him alone in that room and ran away. When he tried to talk to you, you dismissed him. You made it clear that it had meant nothing to you. That is what I cannot forgive you for.’
Sofia was in a state of shock. She didn’t know where to begin. She had so many questions, and she started with the most pressing. ‘What has this got to do with you exactly, Patricio?’
He huffed, ‘Me? We are brothers, Sofia. His blood is my blood, and family is everything. There is some truth inthatItalian stereotype.’ He was catching his breath, climbing down for the adrenaline high of his rage.
Brothers, of course. But why hadn’t Jack told her? The burning next question popped into her brain. ‘Does he know?’ she asked quietly.
Patricio’s face drained of colour, and she had her answer. He had overstepped, thrown down all his cards in anger and now it was Sofia who held them. She didn’t want them.
