‘I did tell you. He’s your boss now anyway. What’s he done?’
‘I specified the ovens. Recommended the kind we had in Naples. They can turn around a pizza in a minute. He chose a cheaper model which fires at a lower temperature. Like him, it looks great but it’s practically useless.’ He throws some dough onto a floured surface and bashes it with the end of a rolling pin.
The restaurant is a haven of taste compared to the rest of the pink and purple interior. The white walls and exposed pipes give it a spacious, airy feel and the menus, pinned to the walls for the launch, look fun and enticing. And then I spot the food.
‘I thought we agreed the restaurant wouldn’t be emojified?’
‘We didn’t talk about the actual pizzas. He landed this on me today. Every pizza has to have an emotion.’ Waiting to go in the oven, Joe’s gorgeous twenty-inch pizzas are adorned by smiley faces, sad faces, heart faces and more. In the middle of the veggie pizza there’s half an aubergine. ‘He wants to put the condoms next to it as he thinks it’s too subtle.’
I can see he’s dying inside. A giant cock in the middle of a margherita? Crass, possibly bordering on genius and definitely not Joe’s thing.
Kai appears with an entourage. ‘Having fun in the kitchen?’
‘What could be more fun than “grinning face with squinting eyes” pizza?’ I say, and twenty people with phones agree. I watch them snap away and post within seconds, adorning their text with all the emotions on the web.
I look between Joe, quietly raging while working his backside off, and Kai, charming the pants off the influencers. ‘Is Eva around?’
I walk past cheap and cheerful winking faces all the way down to the basement. The spa area is the usual formula of luxury on a small budget; two exercise bikes and a rowing machine make up the gym, although a tiled mermaid splashes across the wall of the steam room giving it a more exotic feel. I find Eva dousing a massage bed with a liquid I recognise. ‘I think I’ve just gone back in time. Did you steal all the vinegar from the kitchen?’
‘After christening food preparation area with Kai yesterday,’ she replies.
‘I bought you a wedding gift.’ I hand her a parcel and she raises her eyebrows before ripping it open. It’s tacky, but the message is heartfelt. A set of Scrabble fairy lights, wishing happiness to a ‘number one couple’.
‘There’s some spare letters in there.’
‘Thanks. Change it to “number one boss-hole” if we argue.’
‘You won’t fall out. But if you do I’m always available for the litter bin Olympics or a games night at All Aboard.’
I sit on the bed in one of the luxury rooms on the first floor and call Vince. ‘I want to take you up on your offer,’ I tell him.
‘Fine. It’s yours.’
‘What is?’
‘Whatever you want.’
‘I’m being serious.’
‘Do I need to sit down?’ I hear him crossing the room and throwing himself onto the sofa. ‘OK, shoot.’
‘I want you to invest in Joe. He’s found a property in White City already kitted up as a pizza place. He has his supply chain all figured out. Mozzarella from Naples, and water from New Jersey for the dough. It won’t cost a fortune to make it work.’
‘Tell him to call me tomorrow.’
‘You’ll back him?’
‘We’ll talk.’
‘Why aren’t you out with Aurora?’
‘I dropped her off at the subway. I have a meeting first thing tomorrow. My name is Vince Marino and I’m …’
‘… an awesome human being?’
‘Yeah. Sometimes. And I used to be a drunk. Catch up tomorrow?’
When he rings off, I text Joe my room number and invite him up. Then I wait.
