‘You didn’t seem to want to take the next step,’ she said cautiously. ‘I wasn’t sure …’
Benji hadn’t known that she harboured any insecurity when it came to them. In his mind, they were one. Benji and Sierra. Sierra and Benji. Their names leaving the lips of everyone they knew together – forever.
But her words made him think about it, about why he maybe hadn’t been as open with his own wants and desires. Because he wanted Sierra Hunt – except he wanted her to be Sierra Matthews. And he wanted babies. Cheeky little girls who looked like their mom. ‘It’s hard for me, sometimes, to imagine you wanting that life – withme. I …’
How did he begin to describe to someone who had been raised with everything including a multi-million-dollar inheritance, that he often felt like an imposter in her kingdom? ‘The only reason I’ve been taking so long is because I wanted to make something of myself first – become someone you could be proud of. I want to be a man you wouldn’t be ashamed to marry. I want enough saved to build you the home you deserve, and that’s going to take me at least another year …’
Sierra’s eyes went huge. ‘Benji …’ She shook her head. ‘No.’
‘No?’
‘No,’ she rasped. ‘You don’t need to earn my love. You have it already. You’re theonlyman I’ve ever loved, and that does not come with caveats.’ She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his. ‘You’re my home.’
He pulled back. ‘I’m a salaried employee on your family ranch,’ he reminded her. She needed to know that he might come with nothing but his name. A name he’d tie her to. Because he would ask her. At the right time, and because he was a traditionalist at his core, he would ask Mav’s permission first too.
‘Yes. You are,’ she said. ‘But you’re also the man who stops whatever he’s doing to come and help me – always. You’re the man who fetches me fuzzy socks in the middle of the night when my feet get cold. You’re the man who’s going to be the father of my children.’ Placing her hands on his cheeks, she drew him in and kissed him tenderly.
Benji returned the kiss, taking them deep before Sierra had a chance to pull back. And even as his mind settled with her words, his heart raced in his chest. He was going to be a dad.
As the news sank in and that first punch of adrenaline-fuelled excitement drained, the fear came. When Sierra shifted, he dropped his hands to her hips, holding her with him for a moment longer. ‘Do you think I’ll be a good dad?’
‘Yes.’ There was no explanation, no comforting tone. Just a simple ‘Yes’.
And it was exactly what he needed.
‘I’m so happy, Si. Here in this moment with you, I feel like my purpose is so clear.’
‘Me too.’ Her hands rose to sift through his hair. ‘I only just found out, and I already can’t wait for her to arrive.’
His heart kicked at that. ‘Her?’
‘Just a feeling. But I’d be happy either way.’
‘If it is a girl, can we call her Ava?’ When Sierra stilled, Benji lowered his voice and gentled his tone. ‘I think your mom would have gotten a kick out of it.’
‘She would have – absolutely,’ Sierra affirmed, her tone rough with emotion.
‘If it’s too much—’
‘No.’ She sniffled. ‘Ava’s perfect.’
Benji smiled, and although he didn’t say it, he thought that if his daughter was named after Ava Hunt, he would have a constant reminder of the type of parent he wanted to be. The type of parent hewouldbe.
‘Hey, Benji …’
He shifted, giving Sierra his full attention again. ‘Yeah, baby?’
‘I’m a little scared …’
He understood. God, wasn’t he terrified too? Still, he asked, ‘Of what specifically? Can you put it in words?’
‘I don’t know …’ She laughed. ‘And that’s it exactly – there’s just so much I don’t know.’ She reached forward to fiddle with his shirt buttons, a sure sign of her nerves. ‘I suppose I always thought I’d have my mom here, to help …’
‘Yeah.’ He imagined Ava, and how happy she would have been to be a grandmother, and his heart ached with loss. ‘It’s okay to be afraid. But, Si, we have each other. And we have Mav, who kinda did all the trial and error stuff with Poppy so we don’t have to.’
Sierra smiled. ‘Actually, that does make me feel better. If my brother can do it, I can do it,’ she said.
‘Wecan do it,’ he reminded her. ‘I’ll always be there, Si.’
