Benji led Spirit to her. His eyes scanned her from head to foot. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Yeah.’ But a fist of panic lodged in her throat. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’
‘You don’t usually come down to the barn to watch my lessons, for starters.’ He tipped his head and grinned wickedly. ‘Though I sure like knowing you’re standing there, watching me.’
Momentarily overwhelmed by the immensity of what she had to tell him, Sierra closed the small distance between them. She stepped into him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and nestled against him, seeking the comfort that only his proximity provided.
‘Hey,’ Benji said quietly, ‘what’s this?’ His hand circled her back, soothing.
‘I’m going to tell you something, okay. And you have to promise not to freak out. Because I’m freaking out a little bit already, and if you freak out, I’ll freak out more.’
His arms tightened around her. But instead of demanding what was wrong, he said, ‘Okay, I’ll try my best,’ preparing to be strong for her when he didn’t even know what he needed to be strong for.
Sierra took a huge breath. And she said, ‘Benji, I’m pregnant.’
For one moment, he stilled. Sierra, still pressed against him, couldn’t even step back to look into his eyes. She was too afraid. But she was very aware of the fact that he barely breathed.
He dropped Spirit’s reins. Slowly, he took her upper arms in his hands and set her back so that she was forced to look at his face for the first time.
And what she saw there had her heart racing overtime. He was pale. His eyes wide. His hair, always slightly dishevelled, made him look a little wild just then. ‘Pregnant?’ he repeated.
Terrified by his reaction, Sierra could only nod.
‘Pregnant?’
‘Yes.’
‘We’re having a baby?’
‘Technically, I’m having a baby,’ she said anxiously. ‘But yes.’
There was a small pause. And then he grinned, and it was like the sunrise peeking through after a long, stormy night. It spread, lighting his eyes with pure joy. He whooped loudly and jumped high, causing Spirit to skitter sideways in alarm.
Benji took off.
Sierra watched, slightly astounded, as he ran little circles in the arena like a sugar-fuelled child, his arms outstretched as if he could simply take flight. It was as if he had an abundance of joy that had to be released, and unused to seeing him so free, so goofy, she could do nothing but shake her head, grin and mutter, ‘What the hell?’
Spirit, sensing Benji’s playfulness, began to run after him. The horse tossed his big head playfully and gave a little buck.
Benji came to the centre of the arena and collapsed onto the sandy ground as if it were the softest snow and he was preparing to make a snow angel. ‘I’m going to be a dad!’ he shouted loudly.
Sierra laughed then, undone by his excitement. She hadn’t expected it – that instant happiness. She had expected shock and fear and nerves.
She walked to where he lay, staring up at the arena cover, his eyes a little manic and unfocused. ‘I take it this means you’re not disappointed?’
His eyes cleared. They snapped to her face. ‘Disappointed?’
‘Well, we didn’t exactly plan this. And you never talk about getting married.’ She shrugged, hating how insecure she sounded.
‘Sierra.’ Benji’s tone was grave. He sat up and opened his arms. ‘Come here.’
‘But I’m clean,’ she said, pouting.
‘Baby. Come here,’ he repeated.
With a resigned sigh, Sierra went to him. She straddled him, her knees digging into the soft arena sand as she put her weight on his lower thighs.
Benji tipped her face, forcing her gaze to his. ‘This is the best day of my life,’ he said sincerely, all playfulness gone. ‘I’ve wanted to have a baby with you for years.Years, Sierra.’
