The words were blades across my exposed heart. He turned, stomping towards the water. For a fraction of a moment, he glanced back at me with a pain that I understood ringing through him like an alarm, and I dared to hope he would reconsider.
He dove into the water, shattering the fragile hope I’d bet all my mediocre chips on. Tears pricked my eyes as I realized how easily he’d thrown away what I offered him.
Why would it be enough now? It’d never been enough before.
It hurt. I wrapped my arms around myself to hold myself together.
I tried.
I really did.
Even when it was declared by some ancient swamp god, I wasn’t meant to have a home. If I couldn’t even find that in him, how could I find it somewhere else?
Sobs wracked through me. The rejection stung more than the bleeding wound in my shoulder. My body curled forward, my forehead hovering over the mud.
It was time to face the brutal truth. My only hope for home died when I was five.
Heavy rain plopped around me, like the sky felt my pain too.
Everything came into sharp focus. All the self-destructive things I did that kept me trapped in this loop.
I wasn’t willing to live like this anymore.
Not even for him.
We couldn’t hurt each other if I was two states away.
Chapter 26:
Everystepsankintothe mud like it was quicksand. It didn’t take long for the rain to soften the terrain until the mud came to my calves. It took more power than I could have thought to move forward. Each step was a steep climb, and I was tired by the time I’d put some distance between Rot and I.
His emotions trickled through, but were alarmingly muted. As if he was purposely shutting me out. I hadn’t realized how used to feeling him I was, but it was better that way. It would make what came next easier.
Water rose over the land points, rising to my knees fast. Then again, that was probably me falling through the mushy ground. I knew it wasn’t just an illusion though. Ponds that were previously separate connected together. With enough rain, this place would turn into one giant lake, trapping me inside it.
Shit.
How did I get out of this? Quickly.
I heard splashing behind me, but when I turned, nothing was there. The rain hitting the water hid something’s movements, but I couldn’t figure out what or where.
“Rot, is that you?”
Instinct pulled me forward, and I followed it, knowing I had to do something. Moments later, I came across the opening to Rot’s den.
Where the opening for the den was, it was probably a safe hiding spot. Rot wouldn’t have put it there if it would flood with a little rain. Most animals in this type of terrain were good at finding den spots like that.
My legs trembled from the workout getting to this point and stepped into the entry. As soon as I did, the sound of water rushing surrounded me. A loud crash shook the tunnel like a dam broke or something. I’d barely made it to safety.
What if this place couldn’t hold?
The flash of light outside made me realize the rain had turned into a full blown thunder storm. I let out a sigh of relief. The thunder must have been louder in here.
A pull from behind me called to the raw spots in my chest still quivering. I turned, looking at the nest in the distance. Sitting there innocently, as if it were simply a place to rest.
The realization hit me.
Was the swamp locking me in my room?
