I wasn’t sure how much power it had, but it was interesting that this storm started right as I decided to leave, driving me exactly where it wanted me to be.
My breathing stuttered as I realized I’d fallen right into a trap.
One specifically crafted for me to willingly walk into. The kind where I survive, but at the expense of myself.
I shivered from the cool air blowing across the opening. I was soaked from head to toe and mentally wrecked. That nest would be warm and comfortable. The perfect place for me to ride out the storm and recalculate my life. My throbbing shoulder reminded me that my pain would ease there too.
I even took a step toward it before I could stop myself.
No. Don’t you dare.
If I laid down, the woman who kneeled in the mud and made the decision to be more than ‘the one that survived’ would die.
But it would be so easy, the weak part of me thought.
I scanned the cavern with my flashlight, expecting Rot to appear from the other entrance. So he could tell me that he reconsidered what I said and begged for forgiveness. That he made a mistake leaving me.
That way, I could sink into the nest guilt free.
But all I sensed from him was a thought:See, she isn’t going anywhere. She’s right where she is supposed to be.
Asshole.
It was always expected for me to just accept it.
Not this time.
My finger touched the bone wall, making my eyes grow wide. I yanked my hand away like it burned me.
I stumbled backwards. When had I closed the distance between me and the nest? I’d only taken my focus off it for a moment.
But I felt it now, a cord burrowed in my chest, dragging me to the path of least resistance like a tow chain. The girl who’d survived everything knew that was the best plan to make it out of this.
I can’t live like that anymore,I reminded myself.
I had to get out. I wasn’t mentally strong enough to wait for the storm to pass. I had to decide what was more important: live broken or die true to myself.
I prepared to flee, but each step was heavier than concrete slabs tied to my ankles. Within a few feet, I could barely pick my legs up.
I went to my hands and knees, crawling out. The closer to the exit I was, the more I had to dig my nails into the dirt tokeep moving, making my fingertips bleed in the process. Sweat poured down my temples despite the chill rolling over me.
Had I really betrayed myself so many times that choosing me was so fucking hard?
Stay in the nest. Eventually Rot will appear, with no apology. He’d keep me alive, cause he had too, and we’d keep in this cycle. Alive.
Outside was death.
There was death in here too. The kind that never ended.
No. I wasn’t doing that.
I used every muscle in my arms to exit the den. At one point my limbs felt like they were ripping away from my body as if something held my ankles and refused to let go.
Tears streaked down my eyes, and I screamed my agony to the swamp. It was like ripping the knife out of a wound. Painful, but absolutely necessary.
Otherwise, the wound never healed.
I laid face down in the mud when my toes left the den. The pressure came off my legs, but the throbbing in my chest made it impossible to move.
