“Thank you for coming! Selling this out was a dream come true. We couldn’t have done it without some special people’s help, but they’d hate me for thanking them, so I’ll leave it at that.” Everyone laughs, and River’s smile turns serious. “This means a lot to some of us. It’s a tradition that marks the start of a new year for many. Write your wish on the lantern, feel it in your heart, then let it go into the sky. I hope all your wishes come true, but if they don’t, it’s not our fault. Just means you’ll have to try again next year.”
River hops off the picnic table but stays where he is, despite me expecting him to make his way toward us. For some reason my chest feels a little tight as I grip the lantern in my hand tighter.
“Come onto the beach with me, toward the water.”
Tucker leads me toward the shore, away from the thick crowd. We stand in the water, bare feet cold and wet. The water is dark since the sun is gone, and the waves are gentle. Tucker’s eyes shine as they meet mine.
“Can I use your back to write my wish?” Tucker asks softly, voice a little thick.
I nod wordlessly, turning around to give him my back. He takes his time, then his hands firmly grip my biceps and spin me around. I want to say something stupid, but this moment is too precious to Tucker to ruin.
So, I stay quiet, even when Tucker spins around to offer me his back. I’ve thought about my wish a lot, and it feels right to give Tucker my wish. But he doesn’t need to knowthat. My hand trembles as I writeI wish for Tucker to never go a day without being loved ever again. When Tucker spins around to look at me, I want to kiss him so bad that it takes every ounce of restraint to hold myself back. I swallow hard against the emotion choking me and take a small step back. The corner of Tucker’s lip twitches up in a hesitant smile. I do my best to match it, but it feels tremulous and far too shaky. We spend a second popping out the lanterns, then Tucker procures a lighter from his pocket.
I glance behind Tucker toward the crowd, easily spotting Nolan and Benji since everyone around them keeps sneaking glances their way. Nolan’s grin is crooked as he and Benji share a lantern, only letting it float into the sky when others around them start first. Then suddenly, the sky is full of lanterns. The sight is so beautiful, so hopeful, that I have the odd urge to cry. But when I look back at Tucker, he’s staring at me, not the sky full of lanterns.
Once our lanterns are lit, we hold them up, and my heart does another little shimmy when Tucker slides closer, until it feels like we’re one person standing on the shore of something much bigger than the both of us. It started at sunrise, and it’ll continue forever with a wish on a paper lantern. A small cry escapes Tucker when we let the lanterns go, so I do the only thing I can: I curl my arm around his shoulder and hold on as the lanterns blend into the sky.
I don’t want to look at him and embarrass him, so I keep my gaze away. Instead, I brush my thumb up and down his bicep, hoping to comfort him with my touch. He leans harder against me, and the action feels hard won. I think I can spend years learning all the nuances of Tucker, all the things that make him smile, make him tick, and still somehow always feel like he’s a mystery to me. But life is long, and we have a lot oftime, so I’m kind of excited to keep learning about him for the rest of my life.
“Okay?” I ask softly, voice just barely audible over the waves.
“Okay,” Tucker quickly confirms, arm a tight band around my waist.
“Ready to play some music?” Nolan calls out from a few feet away.
Tucker stays quiet and pulls out of my grip, disappearing with Nolan toward the stage. I watch him disappear, wishing I could’ve kept the moment between us forever. But again, there’s a lot of time—and lantern festivals—for years to come. I never knew I was one for such yearning before, that there was so much love inside me. Maybe I’ve always been waiting for Tucker to come along with his spark to catch fire to that part of me.
Everyone gravitates toward the stage in unspoken agreement. Pride and happiness war in my chest at the sight of Tucker on the stage beside Nolan. They make a striking pair, Nolan with his dark hair and tattoos and Tucker with his bright green hair and light pink cardigan.
“You ever loved a musician before?” Benji asks when he sidles up beside me.
“Never loved anyone before.”
Benji makes a noise that sounds a lot likethat’s adorable. “They’ll stop the world for you if you just love them and give them a safe space to land.”
“How long have you been together?” I’m so fucking curious. How have they kept it a secret? Secrets like theirs don’t exist anymore, at least I didn’t think they did.
Benji’s smile is warm and content. “We’ve been together for around seven years now. Married for two.”
I do the math in my head real quick, but Benji seems to know because he just shoots me a knowing smile before turning back to watch the stage like a proud dad. “We fell in love on the canceled tour. We saved each other.”
Nolan picks that moment to search Benji out in the crowd, grin widely, then strum a chord to a very familiar-sounding song. Ah. “Wildflowers” by Tom Petty. Benji’s cheeks flush and he tucks his hands into his jean pockets. Tucker strums along with Nolan as he sings a song that has everyone swaying. Everyone’s staring at Nolan, but I’m watching Tucker. His head is ducked as he watches his fingers slide down the neck of the guitar, no doubt concentrating on perfection. But when he finally flicks his gaze up, seeking me out in the crowd just as Nolan had with Benji, all the air wooshes out of me at once. His soft smile, the one that’s for me when we’re alone, sneaks onto his lips, then disappears just as quickly when he goes back to watching his fingers.
“Ah, it’s all gonna be okay,” Benji says softly. I turn to look at him, but Benji is still watching Nolan, and the words seemingly weren’t for me.
When they finish, the crowd roars, and despite everyone watching Nolan, I still can’t keep my gaze off Tucker. His head of bright green hair is easy to watch through the crowd as he makes his way back toward me. He’s breathless and excited, eyes lit up seemingly at the reminder of being on a stage in front of hundreds of people. Tucker’s an amazing teacher, but I’m struck with the thought that he belongs on a stage, belongs in his element. I’m going to support all his dreams, even if it takes him away from me.
“Think about what we talked about,” Nolan says with a light punch to Tucker’s shoulder before turning to me. “I’ll send you some merch.”
Not even a question, just a promise. Nolan disappears into the crowd like he isn’t a megawatt rockstar who will stick out like a sore thumb. He takes two photographs with fans who are brave enough to ask, and Benji is relegated to photographer. But the pride that radiates from him is obvious for anyone to see.
“Did you know…”
Tucker furiously shakes his head. “Nah. I mean, I knew he was gay. We signed nondisclosure agreements for the tour. But I didn’t know he was married.”
“What did he talk to you about?”
Tucker bites the inside of his cheeks instead of answering. “Let’s talk about it later. Can we go back to your place? Will Courtney be there?”
