It takes Harper a few moments, but surprisingly he does know the song. That earns him a lot of points in my book. Through the first chorus, I glance up to find Benji singing along as well. And soon everyone is singing along to “Times Like These”by the Foo Fighters. Something inside me clicks into place as we all finish the song. Life is about finding your people, finding your home, and somehow I totally lucked out with this group of men who have accepted me as their own. And I’ve somehow lucked out with Benji.
Maybe luck has nothing to do with it. For once in my life, maybe the universe took pity on me and gave me something good to hold on to for myself.
As we all finish, Jackson cups his hands around his mouth and shouts. “‘Free Bird!’”
Benji shoves Jackson’s head so hard it looks painful. “Fucking idiot.”
“It’s a good song!”
“My boyfriend isn’t playing ‘Free Bird.’”
“How about ‘Landslide’?” I call out, and everyone grins and smiles.
It’sfull dark by the time we head back to the garage apartment. Benji flips some of the lights on and stows my guitar back in the living room. I watch the long, strong line of his back move under his shirt, watch the way his shoulders bunch as he stands to turn around, to watch me in the soft, warm light of the lamps.
He slowly crosses the space between us to stand in front of me, like a gift from the gods. I reach for him and he tugs me into his arms, where I’m held and safe and no longer so very alone.
He smells like he always does, like sunshine, strength, and like maybe he stole a spray of my cologne this morning. Maybe his caveman tendencies are wearing off on me because I like that he smells like me. I like that I’m a part of him and that he’ll never shake me loose, never be free of me.
“I want to build a life here with you,” I tell him quietly, my voice so soft that even I barely hear it.
“Angel, what do you think we’ve been doing since we came here? We’ve already started.”
“Yeah?”
Benji nods and presses a kiss to my temple. “Yeah. Wanna build a home with me too? Maybe get a dog that’ll go on runs with me and keep me out of your hair when you need to write a song?”
Warmth fills my chest as I picture it. A farmhouse on a couple of acres with a fire pit out back. A house full of love and photos of Benji and me from our escapades around the world when we get the urge and decide to travel somewhere new. Waking up every morning tangled with Benji, being kissed by him whenever he wants. Breakfast in bed as I write a new song from the comfort of our messy sheets that smell likeus.
“Yeah, Benji, I want all of that.”
Benji squeezes me tighter as he says, “I’ll give you the world, angel.”
And I know without a doubt that he’s telling the truth.
17
BENJI
FEBRUARY 2028
Ishould’ve known a care package from my moms wouldn’t just show up at the front door in a nice little box with a bow. Nolan is still sleeping at noon on a Saturday when a knock comes at the door. I tug on the hoodie that was tossed across the island last night after Nolan gave me the greatest blowjob of my life, my hands gripping the granite like a man possessed.
And all thoughts of the most amazing blowjob of my life disappear in a wisp of smoke when I open the door to find my moms on the other side. Mama is standing with her hand over her eyes surveying the scenery and Mom is chattering aboutperfect soil for citrus, oh my.
“Moms?”
Mama spins around with one of her warm, affectionate grins. “Mijo! Sweetheart. Hi. We just…” She pauses and looks over to Mom with a soft smile. “We just really wanted to hug you.”
“You drove six hours to hug me?”
“We’d fly to the moon to hug you,” Mom says seriously as she steps forward to do just that.
Her hug feels like safety, and warmth, and bandages on bruised knees. I breathe the scent of her in, the same perfumeshe’s worn since I can remember, and the incense she’s always burning when she meditates. She smells like home. Well, halfway like home. The rockstar still sleeping soundly in my bed smells more like home these days than anything else.
But no matter how big I get, I still feel like a child held in her arms.
Mama joins the hug and suddenly the universe doesn’t feel so big or scary anymore. They whisper soothing words into my hair as they hold me close. I realize then that I’m crying and I pull away with a small laugh.
