“Benji?” Nolan asks quietly.
“Have you ever topped?”
Nolan pulls back enough to stare at me, eyes wide. “No.”
“Would you?”
Nolan looks nervous but not scared as he continues to stare at me. His throat bobs a few times, fingers tightening against my ribs as he holds me close.
“If you want to, I would. Only with you. Have you ever…”
I shake my head quickly. “No, never. But I want to, I think, with you.”
Nolan surges to kiss me again, less of a kiss and more of a branding. His lips say I belong to him, that I’m his, and he’s mine, and that I can trust him with my body, just like he trusts me with his.
I fall back onto the bed, and Nolan follows me down, blanketing me with his warm body. His kiss slows until it feels like his mouth is making love to mine. I feel heat all over just from his touch, from his closeness. Nolan leans back on his knees to peel off his shirt and sweater and he gently helps me out of my own.
“Wait!”
Nolan freezes like a deer in headlights. “What?”
“Well… I was jogging… and stuff and I don’t know. Can I shower first? This is kind of a big deal and I want…”
Nolan kisses me again, this time hard, tongue dipping into my mouth. He pulls away to pant harshly against my neck. “You can take a fucking shower, Jesus, Benji. Go on. I can’t come with you or I’ll eat you alive.”
“Okay! Okay.” I run to the bathroom and take the fastest, most thorough shower of my life. When I return back into the bedroom, damp and nude, my breath catches in my lungs at the sight of Nolan, gloriously naked on the bed, laid out before me. Miles and miles of skin that I know just as well as the back of my own hand.
Nolan tilts his head to the side, his hand circling his dick as he licks his lips. “Well, get on the bed, stud.”
Jesus fuck. I’d expected to be more nervous, but there’s no room for nerves in the bedroom with Nolan. We’ve tried everything and been through so much that somewhere in my head, this just felt like the natural progression. We’re safe with one another. I lie down on the bed beside him, and he leans over me to kiss me softly, just the hint of a kiss. But I want and need so much more. Finally giving in to the impulse from earlier, I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug him closer, eating at his mouth until he’s feeding me his moans.
Nolan breaks from my lips to kiss down my chest, tongue licking over my skin and making me squirm. Without any warning, he swallows my cock down, and I arch off the bed in surprise. Fuck, he has an incredible mouth. When a lubed finger swipes across my entrance, I instinctively clench and glance down at Nolan.
Nolan pops off my cock, lips shiny, eyes bright. “Trust me, Benji.”
I nod rapidly and lean back again, closing my eyes with a sigh when he takes me back into his mouth. My gut tightens and pleasure curls at the base of my spine as Nolan licks around my head. I don’t even notice that he’s added a finger; it just feels full, feels like?—
“Oh my God!” I shout as he finds my prostate. Holy fuck.
Nolan grins around my cock and continues to take me apart. Sweat dots my hairline as I tangle my fingers in the messy blankets between us. I bend my knees so I can fuck against his hand, needing more, needing something I don’t know how to ask for. Finally, just when I’m about to come, Nolan pulls off my cock to slide up my body. His fingers are still curled inside me, just now gently pressing against my prostate, making my toes curl and feet tingle. Fuck.
He gently kisses my temple, nose nudging against my sweaty hair. “I’m scared I won’t do it right.”
I wrap my arms around his middle, holding him close, feeling his heartbeat against my chest. We lie there, joined together, as Nolan gathers his courage. I don’t know what to say or how to tell him that he could do itallwrong, and it would probably still be the most beautiful experience of my life.
“It’s just us, Nolan. It’s us.”
Nolan nods against my head and pulls away to lean back on his haunches between my spread thighs. He stares at my hole as he covers his cock with lube, his fingers swiping over the swollen head. When he lies back down over me, flushed skin so hot against mine, it feels like some sort of benediction. I see forever in his eyes when our gazes meet. His palm slides down my thigh to lift my leg higher up to rest over his shoulder.
I feel so splayed open and vulnerable that, for a moment, my head spins. Is this how Nolan feels every time I fuck him? Nolan’s other hand comes up to cup my face, his gaze staring straight through me.
“It’s us, Benji.” Nolan notches his cock against my entrance, just barely pushing the tip in. I breathe through it, staring so deeply into Nolan’s eyes that I wonder if he can see every single one of my inner thoughts. He slides in slowly, waiting for me to adjust, giving me the time to accept all of him.
Once inside, his elbows fall to the bed, and he pants above me, pupils so wide that his eyes look like the night sky in winter. For a few long minutes, we just stare at one another, the special moment between us frozen, suspended precariously in time. Then he moves, and we both groan at the dual sensations. I reverently run my hands over his back, finally letting my fingers tangle in the sweaty curls at the nape of Nolan’s neck.
“Is it good? Okay?” Nolan asks, out of breath.
I pull his head down to press our foreheads together. “It’s good, Nolan. Now make love to me.”
