“I know, Benji.” Nolan presses a kiss to my temple, lips lingering in the way he often does. “Take me home now, please?”
I pull out of his grip, take his cheeks between my palms, and tug him to me to kiss him soft and slow. He tasteslike peppermints, and I know it’s because therapy makes him nauseous, and the mints help. But he still tastes just like my Nolan, like something soft and spicy. My man. His eyes stay closed when I pull away. I try to capture the moment to remember forever, the moment I told him I loved him, and he didn’t fight me back.
Like usual,Nolan curls up in bed to sleep after a therapy session. I sit beside him for a while, brushing my fingers through his hair that desperately needs a cut. When it’s short, it curls ever so slightly and he tucks it behind his ears when plucking at the guitar. But when it’s this length, it hides his eyes that are the window to his soul. No matter the length, the strands are baby-soft and fine, easily slipping through my fingers on each stroke.
His phone vibrates on the bed between us and I hurriedly pick it up before it can wake him. I sit still, waiting for him to move because sleep is so hard for him to come by, but his eyes stay closed, fingers curled gently into the pocket of my sweatpants. Eyelashes fluttering softly, he lets out a soft sigh in his sleep, then rolls over onto his stomach to starfish out on the bed.
I carefully climb out of the bed, and swipe the screen on his phone to see twenty missed calls from Chris. Jesus. No one else has reached out to him over the past few weeks, just notification upon notification from Chris. I should’ve called him sooner.
Pocketing Nolan’s phone, I grab my own and head out to the living room. After closing the door softly behind me, I curl up on the sofa under a blanket and dial Chris.
“Is he okay?” Chris asks urgently.
“As okay as he can be,” I admit, picking at a loose thread on the blanket. “He’s doing better. Therapy exhausts him though, and it’s a lot of work. I don’t want to violate his privacy, but, Chris, you have to find a way for the tour to be done.”
Chris huffs an annoyed grunt. “What do you think I’ve been doing since New Year’s, kid? I don’t give a fuck about the label. I don’t even really give a shit about the fans. I care about that boy who’s now solely under your protection.”
“Chris—”
“Listen,” Chris says slowly, making me freeze on the sofa. “I have a kid in college and a kid currently in high school. I’m old enough to be Nolan’s father. I love him like one of my own. Telling him that is out of the fucking cards though because he wouldn’t believe it even if I said it. You know that though, right?”
Yeah, I do fucking know that. I’m still not sure Nolan believed a single word of my love declaration on the side of the road. I know how he is, but I’m starting to think maybe he just needs people to say it even if they’re scared of his reaction.
“I told him I loved him,” I admit quietly.
Chris goes quiet for a few moments before asking, “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“And he… he was fine?”
“He hugged me after,” I say with a small shrug. “I think he’s at the point where telling him these things might help more than hurt. But also actions speak louder than words with him, right? You got him here with me, maybe that tells him more than anything.”
“I wish he’d speak to me,” Chris mumbles into the phone.
“Maybe he’s worried about the label. I can’t speak for him. But just back off a little and give him time, I’ve got him.”
“You’re a good kid.”
I laugh lightly, because sure. “I try. Also, the contract is null and void now. You know that, right?”
Chris lets out a large sigh. “I figured. You don’t want any payment?”
I look toward the bedroom, toward where my future is sound asleep. “Nah. I’ve got my payment.”
We both sit quietly for a while as Chris thinks over everything I’ve said. No noise comes from the bedroom, so I’m pretty sure Nolan is still fast asleep, thank God because he’d definitely go into a fit of rage if he knew the conversation we were having right now. But Nolan’s entrusted his care to me, so I’ve got to let Chris know everything is fine.
“I’ll show up in town once I’ve got news from the label. I’ll want to see him,” Chris whispers into the phone. Jesus, the man sounds like he’s crying. “You won’t tell him we spoke?”
“And risk his wrath? I think not,” I say around a laugh.
“Touché.”
And then Chris hangs up, and I sit quietly for a while, before rejoining Nolan in the bedroom. When I lie down beside him, he shuffles closer out of instinct and burrows himself into my arms, and somehow even further into my already gone heart.
“Harper is taking me into town,”Nolan says the next day, out of the blue.
I blink slowly at him. “Okay. Now?”
