“Okay.”
“What ice cream do you want?” I ask around a bitten-down cry.
Colby blinks rapidly in confusion. “What?”
“Ice cream,” I repeat mechanically.
Understanding dawns on Colby’s face and tears swim in his eyes. Damn. If Colby cries there is no way I’ll be able to leave him. I’m not a praying man, but I send a quick prayer for those tears to stay in his eyes. Please.
“Cookies and cream,” Colby answers with a trembling voice.
“Two pints of cookies and cream. I’ll be right back.”
Colby swallows so hard that his throat bobs painfully. I watch with tears in my eyes as he turns and heads back towards the house. He freezes on the steps with a hand on the railing, back a tight line under his shirt. With my breath caught in my chest, I climb into my car, and slowly back out of the small driveway. Colby never turns around, not that I can see at least. And I watch for a long time in my rearview mirror until Colby is only a speck.
Nothing has ever hurt this bad before. Why does leaving Colby feel like I’m leaving my heart behind? An almost physical pull to turn around, to throw myself into his arms, wrestles inside me. So, I do the only thing I can think of to do.
I call my mom.
“Mama,” I cry into the phone as I navigate towards the interstate.
“Angel! What’s wrong?” she asks gently, and suddenly I miss her so much. I haven’t seen her in person since Christmas. Sometimes, all a boy needs is a hug from his mom.
“I just left Colby. But I didn’t want to leave him. I think …” I take a deep breath, then blow a raspberry as I come to a stoplight. “Can you fall in love in just a week?”
Mom hums thoughtfully into the phone. “I fell in love with your dad in only days, it’s not my fault he didn’t deserve my love. Sometimes people don’t. But this Colby sounds special if he could make my sweet Eli fall in love with him. Turn back around!”
“It was a job, Mama.”
She scoffs, making me laugh despite my tears. “You’re not as good an actor as you think, angel. Everyone that meets you falls in love with you. They have your entire life. You’re just not so good at realizing it.”
Her words have the desired effect on me, the tears stop. Silence fills the car for a little while as I drive. Comfort radiates through me just by having her on the phone with me.
Maybe I could give it a few months, then reach out to Colby? I can be brave. There’s always the possibility that this week meant as much to him. Actually, that’s a lie. I know this week meant something to him because Colby isn’t an actor at all. He’s the one who wanted the week to be real, didn’t want me to act at all.
A few more red lights separate me from the interstate. Once I’ve got cruise control on and I’m heading towards Georgia, maybe things will feel better. The more space I put between us will make it feel less like I’m leaving my heart behind, beating outside of my body.
“You want to stay on the phone the rest of your drive? Or you want to be alone a little bit?”
I sigh and wipe at my tearstained face. “Tell me about your week.”
I push through the final red light, heading towards the interstate, when I notice a speeding vehicle cutting through traffic. Wait. Is that the Jeep? My heart practically flies out of my chest. I slow down, and my heart stops when the Jeep pulls up alongside me. Colby’s shouting something but I can’t hear him through the window.
Rolling the window down, I’m met with a look of relief washing over his face. “Pull into the gas station!”
“Who was that?” Mom asks as I do as Colby said, parking by the air machines.
“Colby,” I say in wonder. “Mama, I gotta go. I’ll call you back later.”
Mom just laughs as I press the end button on the steering wheel. Colby parks the Jeep right behind me, then appears at my door, chest heaving and a sight for sore eyes. Despite having just seen him not even ten minutes ago.
The moment I unlock the door, he roughly tugs it open. His gaze is so heavy, so distraught, concern momentarily overwhelms me. I quickly jump out of the car and cup his cheeks in my palms, rubbing my thumbs under his eyes.
“Hey, what happened?”
“I can’t do it.”
Butterflies take flight inside me again. But I temper myself. Stay calm. Life is not a movie.
