“Can’t do what, Colby?”
He tips his cheek into my palm. “I didn’t watch you walk away but I felt the loss of you. I felt it in my heart, in my bones. I know this is crazy, it was just a week, but goddamn it, Eli … I think you’re supposed to be mine.”
Wow. I stare at him in the middle of the gas station parking lot. He stares back at me expectantly, but without an edge of hurry. My always patient Colby.
“You know this is completely crazy, right?” I finally ask.
He nods in total agreement, letting out a high-pitched laugh. I pull my hands away just in time for him to run his own hands roughly over his face, then through his hair. The sandy-blond locks stand up on top of his head. I realize for the first time today just how tired he really looks.
“Yeah, I’m very aware of how crazy this is but that doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
He’s got me there. I nod softly and look down at my feet for a moment, gathering my courage. Someone honks behind us, but I barely hear it. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart and Colby’s soft breaths as he anticipates my words.
“It was real to me too,” I admit softly, unable to look at him.
“Thank fuck,” Colby bites out, before tugging me into his arms for a world-shattering kiss. It’s not a filthy kiss, there’s no tongue, nothing dirty about it, but it’s probably the best kiss I’ve ever had. Because this kiss says,you’re mine, let me keep you, this is real. I try to say it back with my mouth, with the bite of my fingers against his biceps.
Finally, Colby pulls away, fluttering kisses across my cheeks, making me laugh.
“Stay with me?” Colby murmurs against my temple. His fingers toy with the curls at the back of my neck as I lean all my weight against him.
“I have a life in Georgia, one that will take time to uproot.” But I will uproot. I’ll alter my entire life just for a chance at something real with Colby.
“Georgia.” Colby laughs a little hysterically. “We’ve been so close this entire time. I live about four hours East of here.”
My nose wrinkles. “In Florida?”
Colby laughs at me, the laugh that makes me smile because it’s so damn infectious. So real. So honest.
“That’s your blueberry face. The idea of living in Florida makes you have the blueberry face.”
“I will make a sacrifice for you.”
He kisses me again. Softly, just a chaste press of mouths. “I’d uproot my life to Georgia, but my family is here. There’s been a lot of change the past year for them, I don’t think they could take that too.”
I shake my head and rise up on my toes to hug his shoulders. “Florida can work. I’ll have to see about transferring to a college here since I’m mid-program, but it can be done.”
Colby freezes, all his muscles going taut under my hands. “The agency said you were twenty-eight.”
I chuckle and pull away to look up at him. “I am. I’m getting my doctorate.”
His face practically glows. “A doctor?”
“Yeah,” I confirm, suddenly embarrassed, feeling a flush spread across my cheeks. “In English literature. I want to do research or teach … I haven’t made up my mind yet. But for now I do research and teach a few classes. The school subsidizes paying for the PhD program and pays me to teach.”
His hand rubs down my spine, then lands possessively on the small of my back. I suddenly realize we’re having this entire conversation at a gas station. Looking around, I’m grateful that no one is paying us an iota of attention. Could go either way in the South really.
“Can you spare a few more weeks with me? Stay with me in Florida. Meet my family. See my house. Then we can decide what to do from there.”
More time with Colby sounds amazing. I’m not sure I can say no to him. And I realize with startling clarity that I don’twantto say no to him. So, I don’t.
“Okay, husband. You can take me home.”
9
ELI
After one more perfect day at the beach, we pack up our cars, and I follow Colby back to his home. The landscape outside my window changes from coastal, to oak trees heavy with moss, hills, and billboards that make me vaguely uncomfortable. But I roll the windows down and try to keep the nerves inside me at bay.
