I was never threatened by the attention that Jah received. Hell, I got twice as much. I think that’s why we both had problems trusting each other. We were quite an attractive couple. Our son couldn’t help but be handsome. It was in his genes.
That day I had my hair down and wore a part down the middle. I was wearing some Ralph Lauren jeans and a tight Ralph Lauren t-shirt with some Air Max. There were a few niggas in there and all their eyes seemed to be on me. Some dude even referred to me as a Pocahontas and another called me the Stacy Dash look-a-like, while whispering to their friends, but pointing at me. Jah picked up on that shit immediately, and started mean mugging the dudes. Then he put his hand on my thigh, I guess to stake his claim.
Finally, the doctor called my name. Of course, Jahrein invited himself along. The doctor asked me the same routine questions then took some blood. Then I waited for my pap smear.
Jahrein played with Junior, while I stared at the ceiling. I was ready to get that shit over with. I hated to have some stranger digging in my coochie and so did Jah. That’s why he never missed any of my appointments.
The doctor performed the pap smear and it seemed as though he took longer than usual. Afterwards we sat in the waiting room as instructed. I didn’t know why we were waiting, because usually he would give me my birth control prescription and then I was on my way. All kinds of thoughts were racing through my mind.
“Bitch, if you gave me something I’m gonna kill you.” I whispered harshly.
He looked at me like I was crazy. “What? Girl, I aint been doing shit.” he claimed. I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth or not.
“Raven Torrance.” some Asian lady called out. Me and my little family rose up. The lady guided us to this small office.
“Well, Ms. Torrance, we called you back here to inform you guys about some things.”
“Okay.” I nodded, nervously.
“Well, according to your urine sample you’re pregnant.” the lady reported, causing my whole world to come crashing down.
“I’m what?” I asked her. I had to have heard her wrong.
“You’re pregnant.” she repeated.
“But I’m on birth control.”
“Yes, you were, but obviously you weren’t using them properly. But even if you did, they aren’t a hundred percent proof.”
“Do you know how far along she is?” Jahrein asked her with what seemed to be a smile.
“No, that’s something that’s she’s going to have to find out from her physician.” she explained.
I left out of that clinic in a daze. I tried to be careful. I really did. I was not trying to be one ofthosegirls. I loved my baby, but he was an accident, and I was planning to do some things before having any more kids. I didn’t know what to do. How was I going to tell my family this?
Jahrein put the baby in his car seat, as I slid in the front seat. By the time he was getting in, my face was soaked with tears.
“What you crying for?” he asked.
“Because, I don’t need any more kids right now.” my lips trembled.
“Man, quit that, Raven.” He pulled me into his arms. “It is what it is. I got y’all. We gon be alright. You know that I’m a take care of mine. Stop acting like it’s the end of the world. I know you worried about what people gon say, but the only thing that matters is us.” He took a deep breath. “If you want to, we can hold off from telling anybody for a while.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. I could tell that this was exactly what he wanted.
“Girl, go ‘head with that. I love you.” he professed, as he kissed me. That kiss made me feel much better. I have to admit that it didn’t take much for Jahrein to make me smile.
“Giving me another baby can never be a bad thing.” He maintained, as he cranked the engine of his car. He backed out of the lot, before turning up the volume onthe radio. “Uh oh, Raven. This your song right here, aint it?” he bobbed his head.
“Well what will this lead to? Will it be just me and you? Tell me. You know I want you. Tell me how you feel. I’ll be obliged if you step outside because my ride is awaiting….You came stronger, I lasted longer than I ever lasted your mouth was fantastic…”The radio blasted Eight Ball and MJG’sSpace Age Pimpin’.
I couldn’t help but smile. That was indeed my song.
Jahrein continued to bob his head. “Yeah, that’s my baby’s shit right here. Me you. You and I. Situation getting sticky. Your mouth is saying no but your body is saying stick me. Lick me. Don’t be afraid of what your friends say. Rappers get that ass then be out of here like yesterday. But not tonight…I hear your patnahs dissing when they thank I aint listening. Them hoes just be wishing they could be in yo position.” he rapped to me, as he gently stroked my chin.
“Stop.” I giggled.
“Aw, you know you like that shit. Aint that right, lil’ man?” he asked as he looked back at Junior. He gave his daddy a huge mostly toothless grin.
