Since day one, Serafina’s had this ability to rid my mind of the incessant buzzing, butkissingher… Whatever’s wrong with me, with my brain, whatever undiagnosed issue I suspect having, was cured. An impossible feat, the logistical part of my brain reminds me, but kissing her was once impossible too.
I hadn’t meant to. After days of avoiding her, of trying to lock my jealousy behind the lines that have long been drawn between us, the boundary exploded as soon as she sat on my lap. Whenshe came downstairs, I should have been wise and sent her away. I certainly shouldn’t have let her play my game, especially not sitting on my lap, whichIdragged her onto.
How can a woman feel so fucking right when other people aren’t tolerable?
How can a woman quell the static when others create it?
This undefinable influence she has is daunting. The phenomenon of Serafina Mancini is something I’ll live and die by.
She gasps into mouth, and it detonates my will. Fuckingdestroys me.
I haul her against my chest like I had earlier in a moment of comfort, not minding being touched by another. This time, I walk her backwards to the wall and capture her wrists in my free hand, ensuring she can’t touch me. If we’re doing this, Imustretain control, because if I don’t, if she touches me, I won’t survive.
Survive…but surviveherleast of all.
My tongue stakes claims I have no right to make. She kisses me back just as hard, and I hate her for it, hate how she unravels me so easily. A look, a breath, a single fucking word has me tripping over my morals and unease.
She arches her back, her nipples stiff beneath her tank. She didn’t seem to have any idea they were hard the entire time she played my game, the basement temperature not meant for such little clothing. She moans lightly as my mouth breaks from hers and nips down her jaw, towards her neck, repeating what I had done earlier before coming to my senses.
This time, I don’t stop. Senses are all but gone.
Vanessa will kill me.
Anastasia will probably help.
Zeno will actually slaughter me, bring me back to life, and do it all again.
Serafina’s younger than me and has so much to live for, and getting involved with a man who makes killing and infiltrating networks his world isn’t it. I’ve killed more people than she can ever count, broken into more networks than she’d ever know. I was my father’s puppet, forced to bend to his whims. I’ve spent as much time in prison as I’ve spent in her company.
She’s a virgin. She confirmed as much after Vitale’s attack. It’s definitely not mine to take.
By her collarbone, I pause to catch my breath. Her vanilla and peach fragrance is slowly breaking what’s still barely held together. I wonder if the rest of her will taste like it.
“Stop me.”
“No.”
“Please, Serafina. Be good. Push me away.” She must, because it won’t be me who ends this—not again.
If she manages to, then I’m quitting as her protection detail. I’ll admit everything to Vanessa and beg her to take over. Now that I’ve kissed her once, I won’t be able to return to being just her friend, her guard.
Still. Shemustend this. For the sake of both our families, my vows, and her future.
“Never.” Her breathy whisper damns me, and I lightly nip her neck.
“You’re not meant for me.”
“Maybe I am.”
“My hands are stained.”
“Why are you fighting this?” she asks, her question truly gutting me. Enough, I lift my head and suck in the basement’s cool air, trying my damnedest to replace what she’s filled my lungs with.
“Because we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Do you want to?”
What a stupid question. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have crossed the basement and pulled her back down the step she managed to climb.
