This time I pick up.
“Hey, Levi.”
“Mornin’, Maggie. You see the draw for tomorrow night?”
I sigh. “No. I’m not inclined to look, either.”
He stays silent for a beat before, “We miss your pretty face around the chutes. Brady’s got nothing on you, missy.” I can almost see Levi smiling on the other end.
But I’m not going to the last event.
I plan on seeing how it goes after the fact. I can’t watch. I can’t sit there in the stands while my heart is obliterated by a raging bull.
I won’t.
After the dust settles, I’ll reach out.
“I know something happened between you two, but we’d all love to see you at that event. Jones isn’t the only one who got used to having you around.”
I smile, but it’s sad.
I miss them all. I do.
Even maybe Knox . . .
Maybe.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good enough for me. Oh, and by the way, Spencer and the crew bought you the best seat in the house.”
“Oh, they did?”
“Yeah, you’re with us. Honorary crew.”
An ache blooms in my chest and I whisper a goodbye before I hang up.
Why is this so damn hard?
I continue my scroll. A position that’s a little different from the rest pops up, and I click on it and get to work. Maggie Gallagher, back in the professional photojournalist saddle. The hiccupped laugh-sob spilling from me has me feeling all sorts of ways about the next few days. Hitting the submit button, I half want to take it back, half hope I get it straight up.
Never before have I been so indecisive in my entire life.
It’s midday Saturday. The PBR grand final is just hours away. I turn on my heel as the service bell rings, heading for the kitchen to collect another order. At the shelf, I grab up the two plates and make to take them to the table. They don’t budge.
I glance up to see Mom holding the plates on the other side.
“No, Mom.”
I know what she’s doing, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m protecting myself. Protecting my career. After hours in the forest and about a million tears, I chose myself. I chose tonotspend the rest of my days wondering if Hadley is coming home to me.
I can’t deal with that.
As much as I know I’m breaking my own heart, I’ll try my best to wade through this. I’ve done hard things before...
She’s still staring at me, playing tug-of-war over the plates, so I relent and drop my hands. “What?”
“You know what.”
