Brad steps out and shuts the door softly as Mom holds me close and guides me to the bed. “Oh, my sweet, sweet girl.”
I huff a strained laugh. I’ll always be her little girl.
Always.
“Tell me everything, get it out so it won’t eat you alive. Trust me, it never ends well.”
I suck in a breath, but another sob tumbles right on out.
“You’re in love with him?” she says softly.
The sobs fall freely as I nod.
“And he’s in some sort of trouble?”
I can’t even bring myself to say it. I can’t face my mother and let her witness the way I ran from the most incredible man I’ve ever met because I was scared.
I can’t tell her the same thing is likely about to happen to me as it did her.
I won’t.
“From what Levi’s told us, we have mostly pieced together what is going on here.” She rubs circles over my back. “And my girl, that cowboy loves you something fierce. Levi hashed over the events of last weekend. Then you came home early. We put two and two together.”
“How could I do this to him, Mom?” I sob.
“Nothing is done yet. You got scared. It’s completely rational since that’s how we lost your dad. But, Maggie, Hadley isnotyour father.”
I huff a tangled laugh at the way she pulls a face.
Always trying to make me feel better.
“History isn’t happening all over again, I promise you.” She traces a finger over my temple, brushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear. Never in my adult life have I felt like a child, not even after coming home from the Ukraine and the incident. Now, I feel like the last one to figure out something everyone else has understood for weeks.
“Baby, it’s okay to be scared, but you need to do the scary stuff regardless of your fears.” She tilts her head. “I don’t need to tell you this. You’ve traveled the world. Done so many things I would never have dreamed of. This is the fear talking. To be honest with you, the first time I ever saw it in you was when you came home after Cap and his crew.”
My face crumples. The months, years of hurt all tumble out, picking up momentum, catching any sliver of trauma it can find as it works its way out. I fall apart in Mom’s arms until I can’t find another strand of heartbreak in me to tug free.
Until I have no tears left from the fear and pain.
And I’m just done.
As if centered back to equilibrium, I only need one thing to set my heart and head right.
My mountains.
Mom offers to come with me. But I pack snacks and water and set off on my own to take a hike and catch a sunset and reassess my life from here on in. I have some hard decisions to make, and no one else can do that for me.
The positions going for photojournalist are about as scarce as hen’s teeth. I scroll LinkedIn on the laptop, scanning foranything that would remotely interest me and pays well enough that I won’t need a second part-time gig to support myself.
It’s been over two hours of not much of anything when my phone lights up.
Levi.
I stare at the phone like it’s some coded message from an alien race before it darkens, going silent.
I refocus on the screen in front of me. The career I’ve worked for my entire life. The one that almost cost me my life, the one I’m not giving up on.
The phone buzzes again.
