“She is well.She has gathered many suitors, some of which might even be suitable,” she said.“I have watched these last days and I cannot help but notice you and Benedict no longer are together at events.I cannot recall the last time you were not in some corner together.Is aught wrong?”
Eleanor ducked her head.Of course Lady C would not be so distracted.“We have…argued.It is nothing.”
Lady C studied her and then sighed.“Eleanor, Colgrove has spoken with Benedict,” she said gently.
Her breath locked in her chest.“What did he say?”
“That you became…” Lady C bit her lip, clearly searching for the right words.“That for a time, your relationship changed,” she finished delicately
Blood rushed into her cheeks.Lady C, the woman who had been as a mother to her, knew she and Benedict had been lovers.Good lord.
“He also said that now it is over,” Lady C continued.“That you have expressed to him your complete aversion to marriage.That perhaps your actions have necessitated marriage but he will not compel you to it.”Lady C’s eyes hardened.“Colgrove is displeased with Benedict.”
“It is not his fault,” she burst out.“He was only helping me.”
Her eyebrow rose.“That is helping you?”
Ducking her head, she looked around them.They were isolated from most of the other guests, hidden by a pillar and a wall.No one paid them attention.“I wished to know what it was like,” she said almost inaudibly.
Lady C nodded.“Of course he would help.”She fell silent a moment.“Do you know why?”
Her heart began to pound.“Because we are friends.”
“Eleanor,” Lady C said reproachfully.“You are more than friends and have been for a long time.”
Helplessly, she stared at Lady C.She knew.She knew of what Lady C spoke, but she… She… “We arefriends.”
Lady C sighed.“I always thought it odd you and Benedict did not marry as soon as you were presented.”
Eleanor blinked.
“However, you both were blind to what was between you,” she continued.“And I held my tongue because it was not my place to enlighten you when you were both determined to remain oblivious.However, the situation has changed, rather drastically to tell it true.That you still would not marry, even after you have both enjoyed the…help Benedict provided, is truly confusing to me.”Her gaze searched Eleanor’s.“Why will you not even consider it, Eleanor, when it isBenedictyou would wed?”
She shook her head, her skin too tight and her stomach churning.
Lady C sighed.“I remember your mother and father,” she said.
Everything in her froze.
Her expression calm, Lady C continued, “I remember the tension, they way they were snide to each other even when others were present.”She was silent a moment.“They were not comfortable.I cannot imagine what it would have been like to be a child in that atmosphere.”
In her head, she could still hear the scream of arguments, the shattering of glass.
“I did not wish my marriage, did you know?”
Her gaze whipped to Lady C.She had been ten when Lady C had wed the Earl, but she’d never seen them as anything other than affectionate, or as affectionate a man as reserved as the Earl could be.
A faint smile touched Lady C’s lips at Eleanor’s confusion.“It was arranged, as was your mother and father’s.I did not wish to marry a cold, unsmiling man, and Colgrove is very much that.”A shadow darkened her eyes.“Our first months were…difficult.Honestly, after our wedding night, it is a wonder we ever produced children.”Lady C’s cheeks reddened.
Her own cheeks flooded with heat.She didnotwish to picture Lady C and the Earl together in a bed.
“However, over time, we came to understand each other, and he…” A small smile touched her lips.“He is the very best man I know,” she finished softly.
Eyes burning, she struggled to swallow past the lump in her throat.That is how she felt about Benedict.The very best of men.
“I am not intimating our marriage is common, or even likely.Many people are ill-matched and, while Colgrove and I worked through our issues, there are many more who would not.I would venture your parents were ill-suited, and they made sure everyone knew it.”Lady C exhaled.“Eleanor, I would think you know Benedict better than anyone, and you both are more suited than any other couple I know of.If you married him, what would change?It seems the only thing would be you will live in the same house, and your best friend will also be your lover and husband.”
Logic told her he wouldn’t change, that they would never be as her mother and father, but the fear buried deep in her would not let her speak.
