Mama’s question shone an uncomfortable light on the shame he was now forced to live with.“I suppose I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
He pushed a deep breath from his lungs.Gravel crunched beneath their feet as they stepped off the flagstone path and approached the pond.The murky water rippled as the breeze brushed against it.
“Rejection, I suppose.”In so many forms.“I worried she might not feel as I did and that others wouldn’t approve the match.”
“Not me, I hope.”When Edward failed to respond Mama said, “Evelyne was a lovely young woman.What possible reason would I have had to oppose your attachment to her?”
He dropped an incredulous look toward her.“Had I married into that family you might not have been able to keep avoiding George Croft.Get-togethers would have been inevitable.Especially once any children arrived.”
Adrian’s father would have insisted on being a part of their lives.Dealing with him would not have been easy for any of them.
Mama pulled her arm from his and turned to him with a pained expression.“You blame me for not pursuing her.”
“No, Mama.I blame myself for not having the courage to turn my back on every doubt and concern I had about doing so.To simply ignore it, and push for the life of my choosing.To be open to failure and to find strength in knowing I had at least tried.”
Understanding seemed to relax her features.She hugged herself and turned to look at the water.“There’s no questioning my dislike of George Croft nor the fact that I’m glad he’s no longer able to make others suffer.It pleases me to know his son is happily married.Adrian’s mother would have been proud, perhaps even slightly relieved.She worried for him, you know.After George took him to London.I did what I could to keep her informed of the observations I made about Adrian’s life and upbringing, but as a mother I realize it wasn’t the same.”
“That’s why you always quizzed me about him after one of his visits.”
She glanced at him, the pleasure he’d found on her face before now buried beneath a shadowed expression that made him feel slightly colder.“Catharine, as you probably know, was French aristocracy.Her parents sent both her and her brother to England in 1786, when they feared the rising tension brought on by an economic recession might make the lower classes desperate.Catharine said her parents expected crime to explode and that they wanted to make sure their children were spared from such an experience.
“At the time, they believed it would be a temporary stay.One that would even ensure Catharine was given the chance to make her debut in London, where all things French were considered desirable.This was before Napoleon and his idiotic quest for power, you understand.And George Croft swooped in with his dashing good looks.He wooed her with endless charm and enough wealth to make her forget he was not the titled gentleman her parents no doubt had in mind for her.”
“You warned her against him?”
“Of course.She and I met at a private soiree hosted by Baroness Midhurst’s mother, who was also of French heritage.Catharine and her brother were in her care.”
“And neither the baroness’s mother nor Catharine’s brother objected George Croft’s suit?”
Mama sighed.Weariness slackened her features, accentuating signs of age that Edward hadn’t noticed before.“The French Revolution happened, as one might say.George took advantage of the distraction – the emotional distress the situation placed on both siblings.While Catharine’s brother was busy drowning himself in a bottle or getting into fights, she sought comfort in George’s arms.Before anyone realized how it had come to pass, the two were married.”
“It’s hard to imagine George Croft in such a way.As a romantic swain brought under a woman’s spell.”
A bitter laugh fell from Mama’s lips.“Don’t be fooled by what I’ve just told you.There’s no doubt in my mind that George pursued Catharine with deliberate intent.If you ask me, he used that marriage to elevate his own status.That’s all he saw in her.A means to an end.
“So you were right to suppose I’d no desire to spend as much as a second in his rotten company.But that should not have deterred you.Indeed, I believe everything good about Catharine was passed to her daughter.Thankfully, she was never influenced by George in the same way I fear Adrian may have been.”
Edward allowed her comment to settle, allowed himself a moment in which to reflect upon it before he said, “And yet, Adrian is still the best man I’ve ever known.I’m lucky to call him a friend.”
“I’m sure he feels the same about you.”She turned to him, eyes bright.“It wouldn’t surprise me in the least to discover that you are his moral compass.That it is because of you he has remained noble and good.Because he fears what you would think of him if he fell from grace.”
Edward shoved both hands in his pockets and looked toward the sky.“Instinct tells me he’s already done so.”He lowered his gaze to hers.Saw the confusion in her drawn features.“Everything that has happened of late has suggested to me that Adrian will cross certain lines in order to seek the justice he believes in.”
“You think he’s responsible for Clive Newton’s death?”
“Without doubt.”When she simply stared at him, he asked, “Does that make him a monster as well?I don’t think so.Indeed, I wish I could have done what he did.Perhaps that’s wrong, but it’s honest.And since I’m in no position to chase down murderous villains and make them pay for the heinous crimes they commit, I’m glad someone else is.”
“I’m not sure I can agree with you there.Though I understand your rage – Adrian’s too – a quest to seek vengeance and all it involves can only result in one thing, Edward.The damnation of one’s soul.”Concern puckered her brow.“Perhaps it’s time to consider severing ties with the Crofts for good.”
“Don’t ask that of me, Mama.”Losing Evie was enough.He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her brother as well.“Whatever Adrian’s faults may be, my opinion of him remains unchanged.He is honorable in his own way.You know this.”
“Yes, but—”
“I am here for the time being.Away from London and the tumultuousness I’ve found there of late.”He started walking again, following the periphery of the pond.Mama fell into step beside him.
“Adrian’s pardoning must have been a relief.”
