“All right then.” Cassandra reached for the door.
“Mama?”
“Yes?”
“I hope you feel better later.”
Cassandra could only press her lips together and nod. If she spoke just then, she rather feared she might burst into tears even though she didn’t quite understand why. She was the one who’d hurt Devlin, not the other way around. Right?
Unsure of her feelings and quite convinced the last thing she wanted was company, she returned to her cabin and climbed back into bed. The half hour bell rang five times while she stared up at the wood planking above her head. And then, when she thought she could bear it no more, she finally fell back to sleep.
Chapter 14
Five days later,Devlin came to the startling, or perhaps, obvious, conclusion that he was being an ass. Initially, he’d kept himself too busy to think, which wasn’t difficult since there was always work to be done on a ship. But eventually, he’d had to pause. And once he did, he’d allowed himself to examine things more clearly than he’d been able to do immediately after his argument with Cassandra.
He hadn’t seen her since he’d stormed out of their cabin, although he did apprise himself of her daily routine and check to make sure she was eating. Clearly, she was avoiding him. Then again, he’d been avoiding her too, perhaps more blatantly since he’d actually chosen to sleep in a hammock with the rest of his crew. His excuse, when one of his men had questioned him about it, was that he woke his wife each time he returned or departed for his shift. But, he mused as he stared out over the blue expanse ahead, his men weren’t fools, and he was certain they knew his marriage was not sailing along as smoothly as the ship.
“Full for stays,” he shouted, turning the wheel the fraction required to put The Condor straight into the wind. Favorable weather had allowed them to make excellent progress. According to Devlin’s calculations, they would reach the Gulf of Guinea at least a day earlier than expected.
Cassandra was to thank for that. Had she not managed to step in and help as efficiently as she had while Talbot was out of commission, they’d probably be three days behind instead. He sighed and muttered a curse. He shouldn’t have reacted as strongly as he had, especially not when she’d told him she’d stopped making her vow to Timothy after she and Devlin had kissed. Surely that meant something – she’d tried to convince him it had. But by then he’d wanted to hurt her as she had hurt him. So he’d lashed out with ugly words that he wished to God he could take back.
He’d wronged her, that much was clear, and she deserved an apology. Plus, he desperately wanted to set things right between them. He didn’t like the glumness he’d been feeling since they’d argued. And truth be told, he really missed her. She was his friend and he hated having a wall between them.
“Dev?”
Devlin blinked. He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts he’d not noticed Penelope’s approach. He gave her a cheerful smile. In spite of his falling out with Cassandra, he’d enjoyed spending time with Penelope during the last few days. They would simply chat or he would show her things like how to hoist a flag or use his sextant and sundial compass.
“Want to steer for a bit?” he asked her jovially. Her cheerful demeanor and overall interest in all things served as a lovely distraction.
But rather than step toward him with a nod and prepare to take over, she placed her hands on her hips and scowled up at him. “Have you and Mama had a row?” she asked, ignoring his question.
Devlin’s throat tightened and for a second he was forced to look away simply to compose himself. “Why do you ask?” He knew he was being a coward, stalling for time and hoping to find a way out of a direct answer.
“She’s not getting dressed in the mornings or setting her hair, so I know she’s keeping to either her cabin or mine.” Penelope frowned. “Also, she doesn’t look happy anymore. And neither do you, come to think of it.”
“Are you sure?” He flashed what he hoped was a cheeky grin.
She did not look impressed.
Devlin sighed. “It’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“When?”
“What?”
“When will you fix it?” She’d crossed her arms and was now staring up at him with an expectant glare.
This was her mother they were talking about, the person who came first in Penelope’s affections. It stood to good reason she’d want to ensure her happiness. And of course, Devlin just loved her all the more for it, he…
He stared down into her serious eyes and drew a sharp breath. He loved Penelope as if she were his own. And Cassandra…
Swallowing hard, he gripped the wheel until he was sure his knuckles turned white. It was almost as if the ship was tilting and he was sliding and oh dear God! He loved her too. And he realized this was why he’d reacted the way he had, because he wanted her love in return and feared he might never have it – feared she would always love somebody else.
“Dev?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you all right?”
