“In the meantime…” Luka pushed off his place at the wall near the window. “I need to talk to you and Sawyer. We’ve got a fey problem.”
Demi nodded. “I heard. The Ithaki lands touch mine, Luka.”
“Heard what?” I asked.
Luka rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to bother you with it.”
“Speak,” I snapped.
Sage and Demi both grinned.
“Two Ithaki women were taken. We think the fey might be trying to start a new breeder camp and we want to shut it down before—”
“How dare they!” I snarled, squeezing my thigh so hard I thought I might snap my own femur.
“Right. Well, we need to decide if we are going to go after the wo—”
“If you want to marry me in two days, you will go after the women!” I grumbled.
Sage’s eyebrows shot up and Luka gave a peal of nervous laughter. “The first few days and weeks of the change can be emotional.”
I stood. “Call me emotional. One. More. Time…”
I couldn’t control the anger, it just kept coming, and I hated it. I was so mad,somad that I’d been ripped away from the beautiful light floating feeling, so mad Morgana forced Luka’s hand. And that Maz took Ruby—and now more innocent women would be forced into a breeding situation. “Going for a run! I need to be alone,” I snapped, and took off out of the palace.
This wasn’t me. I wasn’t mean to people like this, people I loved. I wasn’t uncontrollable with my emotions. My anger turned to sadness and a sob rattled my chest as I zoomed through the garden and out into the great open lands of Vampire City. So much drama had happened the past few weeks. I couldn’t process it all.
I’d never eat another bacon cheeseburger.
I’d never get sick again.
I’d never go poop, for crying out loud! This wasn’t normal.
Then it hit me, what was really making me so angry, so heartbroken. I hadn’t fully grieved the fact that I’d never carry my own child. Cassara had carved out my womb and I hadn’t processed that. Sure, a few eggs had been frozen, but it wasn’t a guarantee. Another sob ripped from my throat and I fell to my knees in a field of lavender, my back heaving as the emotions that I’d tucked away as a human were torn to the surface like a hurricane that unearthed dead bodies and hidden secrets.
I may never hear the wordmommy.
All I ever wanted was a family. Growing up an orphan, I wanted to have a child and give her something I never had: a mom and dad.
Footsteps approached at my back and I swear I was ready to rip Luka’s head off for following me. I hated him seeing me like this, like a crazy woman who couldn’t control herself. Stupid hormones. Stupid changing vampire body.
I turned, ready to throat punch him, when Sage’s cinnamon colored wolf walked over to me with her tail tucked between her legs.
My sob turned to a whimper, and she nuzzled up to my chest like a dog would. Reaching out, I wrapped my arms around her and exhaled all of my rage and grief. I couldn’t handle a human right now, but a fluffy animal that didn’t talk was just what I needed, and Sage seemed to understand that. She lay on my lap as I stroked her fur and let the emotions swirl around me.
At one point, I laughed like a lunatic at how crazy my life had become. Meeting Luka that night at the club had been the turning point of my entire life, and somehow it had led me to here: sitting in a field of lavender with a werewolf on my lap while I cried and lost my mind about being turned into a vampire.
The sun started to set. I had a vague thought that I should eat dinner, but then I remembered that I no longer ate and it just depressed me again.
“I’m ready to go back,” I told Sage, getting one last pet in. She nodded her head and then stood, shaking her fur out. Then she looked up at me with her tongue lolled to the side and tail wagging like a dog.
I grinned. “Wanna race?”
Without warning, she took off through the field, back toward the castle. I burst from where I stood and ran after her. “Cheater!” I called, laughter bubbling up inside of me.
The past hour, I’d felt calm and more like myself. I was hoping it meant that this emotional rollercoaster ride was over. Sage was fast, but I was faster. I caught up to her easily and she growled in frustration, which caused me to grin. By the time we made it to the garden, the sun had almost fully set and the sky was bathed in oranges and golds.
Luka and Demi were sitting on the stone bench talking, and I slowed my pace, kicking up some grass as I came to an abrupt halt.
