‘But a wedding isn’t something you can just do in five minutes! This isn’t that Las—Las Vegas. It takes thirty days, legally, but in reality, much longer. Think, Katherine. You’ve just been through this.’Thanks, Mum. A reminder I didn’t need. Nor Kai by his expression.‘You’ll have to check when or if the church is free, then there are photographers and caterers, but of course, you’ve got your dress—’
I hadn’t thought about that, but surely recycling my dress would be in pretty bad taste?
‘Thirty days?’ Kai asks, interrupting her flow.
‘Yes. Minimum and—’
‘For a civil ceremony?’ His tone is abrupt, his expression calculating.
‘Yes, of course. But, Katherine, the church! In the eyes of—’
‘Mum, I’m not bothered. Church was for you.’ I’d prefer a church, of course. My church. The one that I grew up in, but well, marriage is about sacrifice in some ways, isn’t it?
‘But... you always wanted to have the big, white wedding. That’s what we wanted for you.’
I’m about to answer that this is for Kaiandme, and that our marriage isn’t likely to happen in a church anyway, for religious reasons. That I expect we’ll make do with something civil when Kai speaks.
‘You’ll have a big wedding. I promise you both that. I just can’t promise it’ll be in Australia.’ He turns to my mum. ‘Clearly, we’re at the early stages of wedding plans. And I appreciate this has come as a big shock, but I love your daughter very much. I’ll do everything in my power to make her happy.’ He slides one hand across the table, clasping my mother’s, his other holding mine. ‘I promise you both that.
‘Married,’ Mum breathes, retracting her hand and beginning to snivel quietly.
‘Please don’t cry,’ Kai says, handing her a napkin before turning and taking both of my hands in his. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, Mrs. Saunders, where is Mr. Saunders?’
‘Cynthia,’ she answers quietly, staring at our clasped hands. ‘He was called into work. There was some sort of accident.’
‘Then I’ll be sure to see him there.’
‘Oh, my goodness. Geoff! What’ll he say?’ Almost stumbling to the kitchen bench, she grabs the tea towel and begins vigorously rubbing the sink. ‘He’ll be so upset, he did so like Shane. How will he face his father at golf?’
‘Sod golf and sod Shane’s dad,’ I mumble. ‘And I expect he’ll say that he’ll be glad to see the back of me.’
‘That’s not true! He’s loved you like you were his own. You never see it the way it is—he took us both on, gave us both a roof over our heads. Paid for you to go to private school! Always made sure you had the things you needed. It’s not fair of you to—’
‘But that’s just it, Mum. It isn’t fair.’ My voice rises in increments once more. ‘It’s not fair that he didn’t get to have his own kids with you, but that’s no reason for him to make me feel inadequate—make me feel like I was never good enough. Sometimes material things just aren’t enough. Sometimes you just want to be listened to!’
‘Sweetheart, you’re not helping the situation here.’
‘She gave Shane my address!’ I implore, turning now to face Kai. ‘Then she let him into the house!’
‘Call it misguided interest.’
‘Interference, more like! Treating me like I’m supposed to be a reflection ofhim! Of Geoff.’
‘Katherine, you break my heart. That man took us in when my whole family turned me away. If it wasn’t for him, I dread to think where we’d have gone. Your father—the man responsible for my family’s disgust—he abandoned us!’ Immediately, she covers her mouth with both hands, but it’s too late. Her words are out, harsh words, words of pain and anger, followed by a sob.
‘My dad?’
‘No,’ she says fiercely. ‘Geoff is your dad. Your father, my girl, couldn’t be seen for dust when I told him I was pregnant.’
‘You said my dad—he died. Before I was born.’ My bottom hits the seat of the chair quite heavily as I grasp the table edge, fight seeping out of me.
‘That much is true. He did die. Shortly after you were born. A car accident, but before that, he made it very clear he didn’t want us. You or me. He just left.’ Mum lowers herself more gently into her seat, her eyes and hands in her lap. ‘My family turned me out the day I told them. I was a fallen woman, a sinner. Ridiculous, really, in that day and age.’
‘But... you said your parents were dead.’ I only ever had one set of grandparents: Geoff’s parents, but they were enough.
‘They are. Now. But the day I told them I was pregnant, I was dead to them.’
‘Oh, Mum!’ Reaching across the table, I take her hand in mine. ‘Why didn’t you ever say?’
