‘What do you mean played?’
‘Played. Scened. Had sex. With the consent of her husband, of course.’
‘And is that what you want to do with me?’ Sometimes he’s playful, sometimes he’s pretty rough; is that the same thing?
‘No.’ His answer is immediate and not a little incredulous. ‘Of course not. We have a relationship, an emotional connection. We don’t just get together for sex.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ Know nothing, more like. ‘I was just checking. Anyway, you’ve never seemed miserable to me,’ I waffle. ‘A bit arsey, maybe.’
‘I wish I could make you understand what I feel. How you make me feel.’
I can’t think of a response; a coherency breakdown of the brain. But my heart swells a little, all the same. Then he smiles, his face resuming its usual urbane, cynical facade.
‘Arsey?’
‘Yeah, uppity. You know, a general pain in the butt.’
‘Be careful, kitten.’
‘Oh, no. You’re not going anywhere near my arse again. Not today.’
He seems as surprised by my words as I am. But then he laughs loudly, distracting me.
‘Spoilsport,’ he murmurs. ‘No, I won’t be going anywhere near you in that manner until you’ve had time to think. I can’t do it like this, Kate. You have to own your sexuality. I don’t think you understand how much it hurts to see you belittle the connection we have.’
My heart plummets, but still I spew words. ‘And if I decide I don’t want to...’
‘If you decide to fight your nature, will you want me to fight mine?’
‘So it’s nature versus nurture, kind of. Satin sheets and kisses or being fucked hard against the wall—those are my choices?’ I pluck a loose thread from the pillowcase at my head, not sure I want to hear his answer.
Grasping my chin, his eyes are intense, his faint freckles begging to be kissed. ‘All of the above. There are no choices to be made. I’d ask that you acknowledge what we have. Get to know your own body while I get to know your mind. I want to be your lover in all senses of the word. How does that sound?’
I nod slowly. It’s the best I have to offer as if I open my mouth to speak I might be compelled to swallow him whole.Swoon!That’s about the measure of it.
‘And you like fucking hard. Don’t forget that.’
The word goes straight to my non-existent knickers, where it stays, pulsating.
‘So, we can eat?’ he asks, his expression changing as fast as the subject.
‘Sure, if you’re offering,’ I manage to croak out, blood and sense having drained to places elsewhere.
‘You still aren’t going to offer your guest hospitality?’
‘I think my guest has pretty much availed himself to the facilities in full.’
‘That’s not a very pleasant analogy. And this is exactly what I’m talking about—I took advantage of nothing.
‘I’m still not making you food,’ I grumble, turning red. I try very hard to ignore how I feel, how I’ve made Kai feel. Biting my tongue, I quite literally keep my emotions locked inside.
Crawling over me, Kai deliberately brushes his nose against my skin as he moves. His feet touch the floor and he strides to the bathroom, very naked and very beautiful.
