‘It wasn’t about him,’ I whisper, staring at my hands. ‘You confuse the hell out of me. I don’t—I just need you to be sincere, Kai.’
‘I am. Absolutely.’ His eyes are serious and intense. ‘Whole-fucking-heartedly.’
As he stands, the veins in his hands are taut and prominent as he presses them to the desk, and I’m struck by an almost visceral image of those same hands slipping under the hem of my dress. Lust blooms in the pit of my belly, pushing outwards to between my legs.God, I want him, want to believe him. Need to know he wants me as much as I want him. Want him to take me in his arms and crush his mouth to mine.
‘Shane.’ The name rolls off his tongue casually, pouring cold water on my thoughts. His tone is cool, but I can tell it cost him a lot to even mention his name, the mammoth muscle-tic in his jaw a fair indicator of that. ‘I think you ought to see him. Make sure you’re doing what’s best. For you, I mean.’
‘Fuck off.’ I look away. It sounds like I’m joking; a throw-away line, but it’s exactly what I mean. No way I believe Kai has become that relaxed all of a sudden.Unless he’s just taken a Xanax. ‘No way in hell. And that’s not something for you to decide. Anyway, you don’t really mean it.’
My gaze slides away from his dark eyes as he begins to move. I refuse to look, focussing instead on the sound of his shoes against the tiled floor, the air leaking from the unit on the wall; anything but look at him. Voices rise and fall away from the adjoining corridor, as instead of drawing closer, he moves to stand in front of the window, his eyes fixed on the outside.
‘You’re right.’ He sighs, the thin light rendering him a silhouette of angles; shoulders and elbows, tapering to slim hips. ‘I wish he didn’t exist.’
‘I know the feeling,’ I mutter in return. ‘Think his mum would miss him, though.’
Hands slide from his pockets and hang by his sides. ‘Despite how I feel about you... how much I want to be with you, I want you to be happy. Even if you decide your happiness lies with him. Or so I’d convinced myself. Now that those words are out in the open, the thought of you tripping down memory lane together, makes me want torip off his head.’ He ends his statement in almost a growl.
‘Memory lane’s full of road-kill. Dead meat on the roadside you pass without a second glance.’
Half turning, a rueful smile hovers in the corner of his mouth. ‘Subtle, as always.’
That’s me. Like a possum wearing gumboots dancing on a tin roof. In a thunderstorm.
‘Understated can get stuffed.’ I take a deep breath and say the only thing that means anything to me right now. ‘I would’ve told you about him eventually, but the truth is, I only want you.’
In a blur of steps, I’m in his arms and lifted from the chair.
‘I can’t believe you kicked me out of bed.’ His voice rasps as he locks his arms at my back.
Relief is a living, breathing thing in his arms, a realisation dawning in his embrace.I’m where I belong.
‘You make it sound like it’s the first time it’s ever happened to you.’ Half laughing, half crying, I place my hands on his chest and stare up into his beautiful face. ‘I seem to remember you saying something before, along those lines.’ It’s almost instinctual, this yanking his chain. ‘Something about compelling husbands, I think?’
One hand pressed on the base of my spine, he pulls me impossibly close. ‘Notthe same. I’ve never left something precious behind.’
‘Don’t stress. I haven’t had a chance to sell your Breitling yet. I bet the Ferragamo’s are worth a bit, too. Shame you’ve got such big, er...’ My eyes flick down, an almost automatic response, as he rocks his hips into mine. Mercury splits and rolls through my insides. ‘Feet,’ I rasp. ‘I was totally going for feet.’
A sceptical eyebrow rises as his hand moves lightly to my butt. ‘Don’t start something I can’t finish.’
‘Why? Is there too much weight bearing on your Achilles heel?’ I smile through my tears, pulling his hands from my arse.
‘Do give me some credit. I’m well aware there are impressionable minds filling the halls.’
‘Not to mention ears shoved up against walls. But that’s something you’ll have to deal with. I say you start at the top.’ Stepping away to gain a little distance, a chance to disengage my brain’s base emotions, I just look at him.
Why not—hell, he’s hot—but I also need to check that this is all real.
His eyes flick to the door and back with a quizzical look. ‘I’m not sure I follow.’
My drifted attention snags as I straighten my clothes; this is a conversation we’ve not yet had. I continue, picking imaginary lint from the buttons of my shirt, now tryingnotto look at him.
‘Oh. I don’t think I mentioned it. Arwa might’ve called me into the office and warned me off you a bit.’ His frown deepens, jaw setting as his expression firms. Back-peddling quickly, I add, ‘Look, that’s just my take on it. She probably didn’t mean—’
‘What exactly did she say?’
I grasp the door handle, intent on an escape. ‘I’ll tell you later, I’ve got to get back to my class. And I don’t really want to give that lot outside anymore to talk about, and the longer we stay locked in here...’
Exhaling slowly through his nose, a smile crawls once more across his lips. ‘Still worrying about others’ opinions? This is something we’ll discuss further tonight.’
