Like Oz… LikeWallynever could.
"I don't want to hear anyone call me 'Wally' ever again."
Ding ding ding.
K.O.
"You can't," Logan growled, reaching for Oz and holding out his hand.
His heart lurched painfully in his chest as Oz took it, drawing him down to sit on the bed next to Logan, their thighs pressed up against each other. Logan's words were a tangle, thick and clumsy on his tongue.Hewas thick and clumsy. Had been, now, for…
For far too long.
"You aren't in high school anymore, son — they broadcast our games all over the world. If you wanna put on our uniform next year, you've got to be worthy of it. There's kids in those stands that'll be looking up to you. Now you tell me…" Coach Rankin nodded at the open file. "This the kind of man you want them to see?"
No.Logan swallowed harshly.No, it isn't.
"What did he have?" Oz asked quietly.
Walter's eyes flicked to the window for a brief moment, before meeting each of their gazes in turn. "A joyful life of his own making," was all he answered
Logan's eyes fell on Oz's face, looking back at him with a worried, resolute expression, and suddenly he knew:
He'd never wanted anything more.
"Youcan'tmake me feel like that," Logan assured him. "That's why I trust you. It's what I — what I like about you so much, that you'd think to worry. Me? I'd have just barreled on through, not worrying about who I hurt, like I always do. Hell, it's why I knew I'd be okay making our deal in the first place, whatever you asked of me. Even when I can't trust myself, I know I can trustyou. Because…because you're better than me, Oz. And you make me want to be better, too. Back then, I'd get so mad at you for it. Wanted you, and wanted to be like you, and wanted you to like me... I was so,sofucking twisted up and angry about it all, because I didn't know what the fuck to do about any of it. And I'm sorry — I am so fucking sorry I put any of that on you. And I'll spend as long as you want making it up to you, too. Because…"
Logan swallowed harshly.
"Because I… I think I might even love you for it," he whispered, leaning hard against Oz's shoulder, not feeling strong enough just yet to meet Oz's eyes.
"Oh," Oz breathed.
"I swear, I'm not pretending you're a woman, or whatever you said earlier," Logan told him, reaching out slowly to lace his fingers in Oz's hand. "And it's not just Pavlovian, either. Sure, I like what we've been doing. But I also likeyou, doofus. You've been so fucking patient with me, even though I don't deserve it."
He tugged at their joined hands, pressing a rough kiss to the side of Oz's knuckle before holding it against his cheek.
"Blow jobs are pretty easy to like, Logan," Oz said, but… He didn't pull his hand away.
Soberly, Logan considered Oz's remark. "I liked going to the club with you," Logan told him. "That night with Eli, too. Liked watching that movie with you about the skateboarding elf, and some of the others. It's funny, the way you quote along with the words when you think I'm not listening. Liked it when you fucked my thighs in the shower, and we had to be really quiet to keep from disturbing the entire house. Remember? Fuck, that was so hot, Oz. The whole time, I kept wondering… Hell, was half-hoping you'd slip and — and it'd, um… That you'd go in. I mean, if you were to order me right now to bend over and let you shove your cock up my ass — "
Oz reared back, alarmed. "I'm not — "
"Oz," Logan sighed. "Shut up and listen to me. I'm not readynow, but…It's not completely off the table, is what I'm saying. Just not — Notyet."
Oz cocked his head, his eyelashes fluttering. "Thought you were scared of being penetrated."
Logan shrugged. "Not scared, just… Okay, yeah — screw you, Iamscared. I've been scared this whole time. What if I liked it, Oz? What then? What would that mean if I'd let you finger me? Or you ordered me to suck your cock, or Eli's cock, or — or bend over so you could take my ass the way you did his? I would. I wanted you to, that night you rimmed me before the party. And if you'd asked me to — especially on that night after the club, and the fight, and that damnedskirtyou had me wear…. Seeing how much Eli enjoyed it? Oz, ready or not, I swear I would've at least tried. Hell, I've jacked off to it twice; I've barely been able to think about anything else since. And what if it felt good? What if I wanted more? Where does that leave me? Where does that leave my career? Where does that leaveus?"
Chapter 27
Choices
Oz was oddly quiet, just staring at him with an inscrutable look.
"Oz?" Logan whispered. "C'mon. Don't leave me hanging here. Say something. Please."
"None of this…" Oz began, clearing his throat. "None of this was supposed to happen."
