"What?" Oz's lips pursed. "Are you going to try and convince me you're actually gay again?"
Logan sighed. "Oz, lock the damn door and come here." He cocked his head. "Please?"
Oz rolled his eyes, but he stepped inside the safety of their room, locking the door with a particularly vicious jab to make itclick.
"I was trying to be honest with you," Logan began.
"Honest?" Oz huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the doorframe. "Okay, be honest then: would you have had sex with me that first night if I hadn't forced you?"
"You didn't force shit."
"Didn't I, though?" Oz whispered in a voice rubbed raw, his eyes locked on the ceiling. "I knew you wanted help, and I used that against you. I made — "
"Youoffered," Logan interrupted him. "Maybe not at the start, but… You tried to stop me from doing something stupid. Even offered to help me, no strings attached. All the rest was my own stubbornness and pride, and thank God for it. You tried to give me an out, and I refused. If anything, I forcedyou."
"Don't be ridiculous," Oz huffed.
Logan raised an eyebrow at him. "I knew you wanted me, and I used that against you," he said, echoing Oz's own words. "How's that any different? How come I get a pass and you don't?"
"Because – “ Oz bit his lip. "Because it is! Because it feels like every time I've fucked you, I've ordered you into it. What do you call that?"
"A damn good time," Logan shrugged. "I liked it. Apparently, Eli was right: I'm a sub, who knew? Maybe it's because I've spent my whole life being yelled at by one coach or another; told what to do, and how, and who. Or maybe it's just me. There's no way to tell, is there? But are you really gonna stand there and kink shame me for getting turned on when you go all competent and controlling?" He cocked his head, considering it. "Y'know, we could probably make that work, if you want to try."
"Logan…"
"Oz…" Logan echoed in the same damn petulant tone.
"I just… I don't like feeling that I'm…" Oz looked away. "That I'm pushing you into stuff. Making you do something you're not ready for, or that you wouldn't do on your own."
But Logan just laughed. "That's shit and you know it. Who says I wouldn't have discovered this side of myself, eventually? Besides, isn't that what sports, what college, what joining this house is all about: pushing your limits, and trying to be your best? To learn something new?"
"That's easy for you to say," Oz huffed. "Sports, college, frats? That's all 'traditional values' stuff. There's no stigma attached. Sure, there's hazing. But no one's going to send you to the ER because you chose to join the football team, right? No, they put you in a fuckingvideo game. But putting on that uniform is a choice. It's saying, 'Hey world, I'm ready to get tackled today!' Coming out… a lot of times, it works out. But… not always."
Oz's eyes flicked to Logan's, then away again just as fast. And suddenly Logan's world tilted, and —
"Yes, Logan — your roommate is a big flaming homo. You've only been on my case about it for the last four years since I came out."
"Wait," Logan said, reeling. "You've been out four years?"
"You were the one who outed me!" Wally glared. "You literally called me 'Gaylord' our entire freshman year of high school. After that, it's not like the rainbow cat was going back in the bag."
Oh.
"I'd give about anything to go back and change my own coming out," Oz was saying, the haunted look in his eyes horrifyingly raw. He seemed completely unaware Logan was reeling. That he still hadn't recovered from the first punch Oz had landed square in his gut, before delivering the second blow.
"And if there's any chance that… that I've pushed you? Or that you might change your mind later, when it's too late? I just don't want you regretting it, Logan," Oz explained.
'Regrettingme,'Logan heard, clear as day.
"Or feeling about me…. like how I used to feel about you," Oz said quietly. "Back when you'd yell 'Wet Wally' and, well…You know.Before."
Oh
Oh,fuck.
Back when Logan treated Oz like a punching bag, like the butt of every joke. When Logan would lash out at his own feelings, bullying Oz in their place. When Logan was the bully, and Oz had no way out.
But Oz… he was giving Logan a way out, here. He'd always given Logan a way out. He'd made sure they had a safe word, would check in with him, and made sure Logan knew he could always, alwayssay no.
