“Nightstand. Drawer. Hurry.”
I heard Jacks chuckle again as he leaned over, careful not to remove his fingers, and fumbled to get the drawer open and lube removed.
“We need to go lube shopping. This is basically Vaseline without the jelly.”
I heard him talk, but his words didn’t register. Hisfingers felt too good. Too damn good.
Pop.
Squirt.
His fingers slipped out, and I heard him rub his hands together. A moment later, the fingers returned, much slicker and slightly warm. He circled my hole, wetting it, teasing it, then slipped one finger in. This time, there was no protest or clench or anything. I took him in, welcomed him, begged him to enter me and go as deep as he could. I didn’t care how he liked my lube; it made everything feel ten times better—a thousand times more electric.
I gasped.
“This okay?”
“God, yes. Don’t stop, Jacks. Don’t ever stop.”
The second finger joined the first, and I opened for him. I did it on purpose. Holy shit, I could do this.
“I need you so bad, Jacks.”
“I’m right here, baby. I’ll always be right here.”
“Get inside me, please.”
A moment’s pause.
“Do you have condoms?”
I froze.
I didn’t.
I wasn’t sexually active, despite telling the guys that I banged a different girl in every city we visited.Okay, fine, I didn’t tell them that. They assumed it, me being captain and all. Still, I hadn’t had sex with anyone but my right hand in, well, at least a year. I definitely didn’t have condoms anywhere in my apartment.
“We shouldn’t do this without them, babe.” Jacks’s voice was calm and sure. I knew he was right, but fuck, I wanted him so badly. “I get tested every six months, and I haven’t been with anyone since we met, but still—”
“I haven’t had sex in over a year, Jacks.”
“What about Brooke?”
My heart seized. I didn’t want to tell him, but I couldn’t see any other way.
“We tried, but . . .” I blew a sigh into the pillow. “I couldn’t get it up with her.”
Jacks laughed out loud. “Seriously? You? Mister I-get-hard-if-there’s-a-stiff-breeze couldn’t get it up?”
I groaned. “That’s why she . . . I mean she . . . fuck, Jacks, she knew I wasn’t attracted to her or women or whatever. My dick told her everything. Fucking traitor.”
Jacks laughed again, still straddling me where I could barely see him in my peripheral vision.
“The team makes me do a physical twice a year. They test us for everything . . . and then testus some more. I know HIV is one of the tests, along with all the others the doc calls his ‘skanky ho treatment.’ If I had anything, I’d know it.”
Another pause.
“I . . . I don’t know,” Jacks said.
