In the relative darkness of the room, Gable Flynn, my son-in-law, looks beyond me, as if he’s struggling to forgive me as much as I struggled to forgive him.
“Guy, the moment I held my kids in my arms, I tried to imagine someone doing to them what I’d done to Ella. Putting them in danger, loving them when they deserved better, damning them to a life where they can never be truly free.” He glances up the stairs, and his grip on the glass of milk tightens. “And I think if I were you, I’d have let me rot in that cell.”
Chapter 18
Monty
I’ve never told anyone what I did to my parents. A secret shared is no longer a secret, my mum used to say. So, I kept it to myself, and I didn’t wrestle with guilt like I thought I would. No sleep was lost, no trauma gained.
They were dead, and that’s how it had to be.
The cabin is quiet by the time I make it back. I glanced back a few times, but Guy didn’t follow, and I didn’t wait.
Inside, I shower and sit on my bed in a towel.
Fourteen years and I’ve never cried. The last tears I shed were over my sister. I didn’t even cry when Asher died.
With Guy, I can’t seem to stop. Hearing him say my name. Watching him slip into disgust when I told him my story.
I don’t know what to do with this sudden grief over a man that isn’t dead. Over a relationship that was doomed to fail. Even if I’d stayed that night, we wouldn’t have worked. We’re just too different. Our beliefs, our actions, our reactions.
Standing, I go to my suitcase and take out the T-shirt ofGuy’s I took. I slip it on along with a pair of underwear and go to the standing mirror to examine my side.
Angry, red cuts seem to glow in the dimness of the room. Letters carved into my skin.
OURS
It’ll scar,but everything the Sinclairs did scarred me long ago.
Using my first aid kit, I clean and cover the wound as best I can. Every movement feels like fire, so I pop some pain relief, too.
And as I lie there in the dark, alone, knowing the man I care about so much is only feet away and probably hating me, I realize it’ll always be this way.
I’ll always end up alone.
I’ll always choose revenge over myself.
Even though it amounts to nothing.
So, I bury my face in my pillow, and I cry. I cry so hard my chest aches, my eyes burn, and my throat dries. I squeeze my eyes closed and try to stop, but I can’t. My shoulders shake from my sobs.
And then I feel him.
His arms around me, pulling me to him.
And I cry against him, instead.
Guy strokes my hair, and holds me close, and comforts me even though I don’t deserve it.
“You should hate me,” I whisper through my tears.
He kisses my forehead. “I’ve tried.”
Looking up at him, I’m lost in sapphire blue and his softtouches as he wipes away my tears. “I didn’t want to leave you. You made me so happy.”
His own eyes shine. “Then fight for me. Fight for me and I’ll fight for you.”
“How can you even look at me after what I told you?”
