He rests my head on his chest, his fingers making soothing strokes up and down my arm. “My whole life I’ve lived by a rule book. Everything was easier that way. Right and wrong was laid out for me. But … I think I’m starting to realize things aren’t as simple as that. You did something terrible, but I want to know why. I want to understand. Help me understand, Lina.”
Can I do it? After all these years, can I finally tell my story? The details of that night, and the ones that led to it, are the worst of my life. I’ve buried them at the back of my tortured mind, dusting them off when revenge becomes possible, but this would mean unearthing them for good.
But if this is what it takes to heal, to move on, maybe even to be with him, I’ll do it. I’ll face my fears, as long as he’s beside me.
“Will you hold my hand?” I whisper, and he interlocks our fingers. And I begin. “My sister and I never wanted for anything. The nicest clothes, the best schools, but we were loved, too. Not spoiled. Our parents used to encourage us to volunteer on weekends, to help them out at charity events, so we could understand that money is only important if it was going to the right places. But they were traditional. They arranged for my sister to marry into another well-off family, a way to join businesses and assets. The Sinclairs. Specifically, Sawyer Sinclair.” I swallow hard, his name bitter in my mouth. “My sister didn’t mind. Everybody in school adored the Sinclair brothers. There were six brothers, all so handsome, popular. Ava was excited, so I was,too. Sawyer and Ava were married on July ninth, and she looked so beautiful.” I smile at the memory, at how grown up she’d looked in that white gown. I remember wishing so desperately that I could look half as beautiful as her on my wedding day. “She was glowing. We danced together, and she snuck me wine, and we sat on the grounds of the golf course where they married, and she promised I’d marry a Sinclair brother, too. And we’d have kids at the same time and raise them together. Sisters, best friends, forever.” My smile fades, and I hold Guy’s hand a little tighter. “Except, the next day, the Sinclairs called and said Ava was dead. She’d jumped off the top of the hotel where there were staying. Killed herself.”
Guy pulls me closer. “I’m so sorry.”
“She didn’t kill herself. Everyone accepted that story, but I didn’t. Then, a few days later, I got an email with a video in it. It was back when phones weren’t great for taking footage, but I could make out what it was, and who was in it. It was my sister and the Sinclair brothers. And they were … raping her.” Guy tenses, and I breathe through the nausea that roils through my gut. “They were laughing. Taking turns. Saying if she wasn’t a virgin on her wedding night, then what did she expect? The video ended with her sobbing, begging them to stop …” I can still hear those sobs, her pleas. “I took the video to my parents, fully expecting them to want justice. But you know what they said? ‘Bringing it up would just cause issues between the families.’Issues. As if that fucking mattered. Their daughter was brutally raped, and they either murdered her or she killed herself because of it, and they cared more about our name. I couldn’t believe it. I felt so … angry. So betrayed. They even let Sawyer talk at her funeral. He cried, said he wished he understood. I hated them. So, I went to the police.”
“What did they say?”
“They palmed me off. Said they’d look into it, and to give them time, but I knew the Sinclairs. They were powerful. That tape would never go anywhere. So, I emailed it to a local news station. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done because I didn’t want anyone to see what she went through, but it was the only way I could get anyone to listen to me. But the Sinclairs buried it again and sent the brothers and their sister to America to start fresh here. Away from me. Away from my family.” I’d never felt so helpless in those weeks that followed. The siblings got new lives, while my sister was in the ground. “Whenever I brought it up with my parents, they’d insist I drop it. Let it go. Ava was gone, and nothing I did or said would change that. But I couldn’t. She deserved better. And then my mother said the worst thing she could have ever said. She said … if Ava wasn’t a virgin, then she only had herself to blame for how Sawyer reacted.”
Guy tenses. “Fucking monster.”
“It was then I realized I’d been idolizing my parents, brushing aside their flaws, happy to live in ignorance because they’d always treated me well. But their charities, their donations, their volunteering … it was all an act. A fucking lie.” I hug him tighter. “So, I killed them. I killed them because they didn’t deserve to live another day after letting Ava’s death go so easily. And then I moved here.”
He continues stroking my arm. “You followed the brothers.”
“I tried. Even over here, they had power. Getting close to them wasn’t easy, but I met some people who I learned to trust.”
“Your friend in New York?”
I nod. “He helped me get training, get smarter, stronger,ready. Going into contract killing was just my natural next step. I’d keep looking for the Sinclairs, and I did. Then, when I was with you, I got the call. Seth Sinclair was in San Francisco, and for some reason, he had no visible security with him. So, I killed him.” I think of the expression on his face, the shock that I’d actually pulled the trigger. “The night I promised you everything, I got another call. It was Sawyer’s location. I couldn’t pass up my chance to finally get him, to end this once and for all. But by the time I got there, he was gone. And I knew you’d hate me for disappearing, probably never trust me again, and you deserved better, anyway. You deserved more than what I was doing to you.”
“You were making me happy, too, Lina,” he says quietly.
The words have my throat thickening. “You were right what you said earlier, though. You were a good man, youarea good man, and because of me, you’re doing things you would never do before.”
He’s quiet for a moment, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
“Did you find Sawyer in the end?”
I sigh. “No. A few weeks ago, I thought I’d tracked him again, but it went wrong.”
“Wrong how?”
I chew my lip and decide if I’m coming clean about everything, then he should know about this, too. Sitting up, I lift his T-shirt that I’m wearing and show him the bandage.
His eyes dart between the injury and my face. “What is that?”
“I thought I’d made it into Sawyer’s home without anyone seeing me, but I was wrong. He wasn’t there, so his men had me for a few days.”
Guy’s jaw looks harder than granite. “Did they?—”
“No. They did this, instead.” I peel off the bandage and show him.
Rage explodes across his face, and he gets off the bed and starts pacing. “We need to call the police.”
“Like I did fourteen years ago?” I say, covering the injury back up and pulling down my T-shirt. “They’re even more powerful than they were back then, Guy. They’re in human trafficking, and I’m lucky I got out when I did.”
He stops pacing to face me. “How did you get out?”
“I’m not entirely sure. I woke up, and the room they were keeping me in was unlocked. So, I ran. Nearly didn’t make it off the grounds, but luckily, I’m a good runner.” I smile, but Guy doesn’t return the sentiment. “After I got out, I came here. Ella had mentioned you were coming, too, and … I don’t know, I guess I just needed to see you. To feel safe again.”
He cups my face, a world of desperation in his expression, but he doesn’t look torn. He looks determined. “Please let this go. Let this go, come home with me.”
