A chill filled the room. Lady Lutton’s mouth turned down at the corners. She stood and her body trembled as did her voice.
“I long to shake you and put some sense into you. You have no idea what you’re saying.”
It was true Caroline had no idea what she had said that could have caused this reaction in her friend. She had made a simple statement of fact. Her marriage wasnota love match. It was a lust match.
And Amanda was wrong. Caroline need not open her heart to Phineas. He would be satisfied with her opening her legs until he wasn’t anymore and he sought out new mistresses.
But Caroline wanted to keep Amanda as a friend. Her only female friend. She should apologize even though she did not know what offense she had caused.
“I am very apologetic for upsetting you.”
“Yes.” Lady Lutton bit her lip. “But I think I really upset myself. I was not the right woman to have this talk with you, even though I wanted to be. I wish you every happiness, Caroline, and I will be delighted to see you tomorrow at your wedding. You really will be the most beautiful bride.”
Phineas:
Please meet me right away at the place where you throw sticks for La.
Caro.
She could have written him a letter detailing why they should not marry. But that would have been cowardly. And if nothing else, she felt stronger and bolder than she had in January.
He had done that for her with his patience, his unflagging interest. He had bolstered her.
So she had to see him. She owed it to him. She had been so selfish all this time, only wondering ifshecould be happy in their marriage. She had not thought of his feelings. Only hers.
But what Amanda had said nagged at her now. Caroline didn’t want Phineas to be unhappy. And he would be, wouldn’t he? Burdened with a secretive, icy, serious wife when he might have an open, affectionate, and fun-loving lady. One that matched him.
He was waiting for her in Hyde Park at the bend in the gravel path.
“Darling.” He took her hand and bowed over it. “I want to kiss you so badly right now.” He studied her face. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you.”
He laughed uncertainly. “Have you changed your mind?”
“N-n-no.”
He took out a handkerchief and wiped his forehead. “Thank God. Well, shall we stroll? And we can chat as we stroll.” He looked behind her. “Lady Lutton isn’t here?”
“No.”
“Nor Miss Lavinia. This must be serious.” He offered her his arm. “I want you to talk to me, Caro.”
They began to walk, her arm tucked under his. He said nothing further. Abnormally silent. He was waiting for her, and since they were walking side-by-side, she didn’t have to look at him. He had given her a chance to hide.
How thoughtful he was.
She cleared her throat. “I think you shouldn’t m-m-marry me.”
“I see.” A silence. “So you have changed your mind.”
“No. I want you—“
“I want you, too, Caro.”
“Phineas, please.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t interrupt again.”
