Lady Lutton rose from the sofa.
“Caroline.”
They both curtsied.
“T-tea?”
“That would be lovely.”
Tea was brought. Caroline poured a cup for Lady Lutton and thought of how she had once hoped they might be sisters one day. Caroline had failed there. But she could see that Edmund and Amanda did not belong together. But who could possibly be the right woman for her brother? Someone forceful and outspoken. Someone who didn’t need sweetness. Someone who wouldn’t mind never being calleddarlingby her husband.
Caroline already knew she was very much going to mind when Phineas stopped calling herdarling.
“May I close the drawing room door?”
Caroline nodded, and Lady Lutton glided to the door and pulled it shut.
“Your brother asked me to speak to you on a matter.” Lady Lutton crossed back to the sofa, resumed her seat, and smoothed her skirts.
“My b-brother?”
“Because your mother is no longer with us, I think Lord Sudbury hoped I might be able to answer any questions you might have.”
Caroline shook her head, not understanding.
Lady Lutton took in a deep breath. “About the wedding night.”
Caroline looked down into her teacup. Amanda was here to tell her about copulation. Should she explain she understood and, in fact, she had already experienced it with her soon-to-be-husband? No. Amanda’s job was to make sure her charges observed propriety. She had said she herself would never be a mistress. She wouldn’t understand about Caroline going into Phineas’ bed in Sudbury. Or about the bookshop. Or about what had happened three months ago on the very sofa Amanda was sitting on now.
“Is there anything you would like to ask, Caroline? You are much older than I was when my mother talked to me before my wedding.”
Caroline did have questions, but they had nothing to do with the act itself. They were all about how she and Phineas were going to fit together, going forward. She shook her head.
“Well, shall I tell you my thoughts about the marriage bed?”
Caroline nodded.
“It is quite common, I believe, in these types of talks, for there to be a great deal of discussion about the man’s needs. Indeed, that’s all I heard from my own mother. But a woman has needs, too. They might be very similar to the man’s needs or very different. And your husband might sense your needs or he might not. What I want you to do, Caroline, is to talk to your husband in bed.” Amanda’s face pinkened. “I’ve been with you and Lord Burchester a great many hours over the last several months. You don’t talk to him.”
“I d-do talk to him.”
“I’m sure you think you talk to him. Certainly, you say words to him, occasionally. But there will be a chance for you, in an intimate place with the doors shut, for you to talk to him, really, whether it is with words or . . . not-words. You have had a very lonely life, dear Caroline, and I would like you not to be lonely in your marriage. And the earl—well, he wouldn’t take well to loneliness, at all.”
Caroline now wished she had pretended ignorance to Amanda and asked for an explanation of coitus and then there would have been a lecture about a man’s organ and his seed and a woman’s blood and pain and starting a child.
Better that than this. She didn’t want to hear about exposing herself in a way that was more than being unclothed. She didn’t want to know that her husband would expect to learn her secrets. And she certainly didn’t want to think about Phineas being lonely and seeking to end his loneliness with someone else. She had prepared herself for that, but she didn’t want to think about it.
“I can tell Lord Burchester wants to be a companion to you.”
She met Lady Lutton’s eyes. “He will be my husband.”Huthband.
“Oh, Caroline. I wish I were wiser. In truth, I am fumbling here and pretending to know more than I do.” Her chaperone smiled sadly and set her teacup down in its saucer. “Despite my efforts, I still found myself discussing the man’s needs, didn’t I? Forgive me. I meant merely to encourage you to open your heart to your husband. And that is really for both of your benefits.”
“Did y-y-you open your heart to your husband?”
Amanda’s face changed. “My husband was much older than I was. It was not a love match.”
“My marriage is like your marriage. N-n-not a love match.”
