‘How was the hot date?’ Tyler asks Helen. ‘Just keep it clean, yeah,’ he adds with a grin.
Helen harrumphs, a noise that is wholly noncommittal.
‘Wow. That good.’ Nessie rolls her eyes, the sarcasm dripping from the words.
‘It was fine,’ Helen adds. ‘I mean, she’s nice. But …’ She shrugs.
Tyler stares at her for a few moments. ‘Now look, Helen.’ His tone is suddenly stern. ‘It isn’t that I want to get involved with your love life—’
He’s interrupted by a snort from Nessie. ‘Love life is a bit of a stretch.’
‘Thank you, Nessie. As I was saying, I don’t want to get involved, but Nessie does kind of have a point. This is the first date you’ve been on in what? Six months? Nine?’
Helen shifts in her seat. ‘Eleven,’ she answers quietly and her cheeks blaze.
‘Eleven?’ exclaims Nessie. ‘Eleven? Jesus Christ, Helen.’
‘Nessie.’ The warning from Tyler is clear. ‘Now then –’ he directs his attention back to Helen – ‘don’t you think maybe if you like this girl enough to go on your only date in almost a year, maybe you should try a second one?’
Helen stares back at him, her gaze level.
‘What’s her name?’ he asks.
‘Francesca.’ The name seems to linger on the tip of her tongue for a moment. My sister’s name, just shimmering in the space between us. ‘But everyone calls her Cesca.’ Her previous blush blooms once more across her cheeks.
‘Eek!’ Nessie claps her hands together and bounces in her seat like an overexcited toddler. ‘You really do like her! Oh, this is just too cute.’
I shouldn’t say anything. I should just pretend I don’t realize it’s my sister she’s talking about and not get involved. Tyler doesn’t know my sister in this world; there was no flash of recognition when I talked about her earlier and I doubt he’ll put two and two together on his own. But then I get a flashback to the Cesca in Decanting Bethany’s world. The sepia Cesca, ground down by her girlfriend. Or at least that was what it looked like to me.
I should say something. Warn Helen off, make sure this Cesca doesn’t end up in the same predicament.
I shouldn’t say anything. I think of the Cesca who was marrying Helen. She was happy, wasn’t she?
‘Are you okay, Bethany?’ Nessie asks gently and touches my arm.
‘Sorry. It’s just …’ I shouldn’t say anything. It isn’t my place. It isn’t even my world.
‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost,’ Tyler says.
‘My sister is called Cesca.’ The words tumble from my lips before I can stop them.
‘Oh. So you’rethatBethany,’ Helen says. There’s an edge there, some judgement interspersed between the words. What does this Cesca think of me? What does she tell random women she goes on a single date with about me?‘Just do me a favour and don’t get involved,’ she adds after a pause.
‘Involved?’ I ask. I’ll admit I’m a little defensive.
‘Cesca said you like to have an opinion on things that don’t really concern you.’
‘I’m only looking out for her.’
Nessie – bless her – tries to smooth things over and jumps to a subject that is far more neutral. But the evening has soured and I’m desperate to make my escape. Not because of what Helen said. But because all I can think about is how much my sister must hate me. And I can’t cope with the very thought of a life without Cesca by my side.
In every world I feel like Cesca and I are moving further and further from each other and I hate it with every fibre of my being.
A world without Cesca is not a world I want to be a part of.
Chapter Thirty-Six
I wake up with the faint scent of fish in my face and reach out a hand to stroke Lily’s soft fur.
