Eventually Tyler breaks it. ‘Would you like to come out with me this evening?’ He keeps his voice light.
‘Umm …’ I don’t really know what to say. Because yes, of course I want to go out with him. But I don’t want him to think I’m desperate. Or get the wrong idea. Or … well, to be honest I don’t really understand my reticence. Except that it isn’t fair somehow. On this Bethany. I mean, I’d be stealing her first date with the man I think she’s destined to be with.
Destined. There’s that idea of fate again, because what is destiny except a different word for fate?
But whatever, this Bethany and this Tyler could be good together and I don’t want to take that away from them.
‘My sister’s in town,’ Tyler adds.
‘Nessie?’ I can’t help the excitement bubbling in my voice.
‘Yes.’ He laughs. ‘I take it you’ve already met?’
‘Helen was getting married and Nessie rescued the bridesmaid fitting with a hip flask of whisky.’
‘Helen got married? Really?’
I nod.
‘Wow. But … err … why were you at the dress fitting with Nessie?’
‘I was a bridesmaid too.’
Confusion flickers across his features. ‘On account of … ?’ He clears his throat and shifts his weight to his other foot as he searches for the words.
‘On account of Helen marrying my sister.’
‘Oh. Right. That makes more sense.’
I narrow my eyes at him. ‘Why did you think I was a bridesmaid at your sister’s wedding?’
‘I thought …’ He looks away from me, the tips of his ears growing pink just like they did when he talked about his bed. ‘Well … I thought that maybe in that world you and I were …’ He makes this funny motion with his hands that says absolutely nothing but also absolutely everything about what he means. ‘Sorry,’ he adds and his face crumples slightly. ‘That was stupid of me.’ He shakes his head as if trying to get rid of the idea of the two of us being enough to each other to make me a bridesmaid at his sister’s wedding.
‘You were going to be my date to the wedding.’ I toss the words gently into the air, keeping them deliberately light and full of air.
He smiles. ‘I think I would have liked that.’
‘Well, except our sisters made me wear the most hideous dress ever seen.’
He breaks into a grin. ‘That does not surprise me. Helen has never been known for her fashion sense. Let me guess.’ He pauses dramatically. ‘Pale blue. Long. Thin straps but one of those floppy necks.’ He flaps a hand above where his décolletage would be if he had one.
‘Floppy neck?’ I ask.
‘You know.’ He flaps his hand again. ‘Floppy.’
‘It’s called a cowl neck,’ I tell him. ‘And you are one hundred per cent spot on.’ I narrow my eyes. ‘How did you know that?’
‘Helen went through this whole wedding phase when she was about eight. Had a massive scrapbook with plans and lists and pictures cut out from magazines. That wedding had been planned for averylong time.’
So maybe that is why Cesca went along with all of Helen’s choices? Because she knew just how much it meant to her future wife. And it wasn’t as if Cesca had ever even thought of what her wedding would be like. In fact, until a few years ago she was so vehemently against the mere idea of marriage it was bordering on the fanatical, until friends started to tie the knot and she finally started to think maybe it wasn’t just a misogynistic exchange of chattel and could instead be an expression of love between two people.
Tyler heads home to shower and change and so I meet him at the pub. Lily comes with me of course; Tyler wouldn’t dream of us going somewhere that wasn’t dog-friendly. ‘They even have a special doggy snack menu,’ he’d told me.
Nessie is already waiting in the pub and it takes all my self-control not to squeal and rush to hug her. This Nessie has no idea who I am and I think I would simultaneously terrify her and make her think I was a total loser, which is a pretty impressive combination. I’m not normally a hugger and a squealer – I think you’ve probably realized that about me by now – but Nessie has this effect on me. Like we’re soul friends. Meant to be. The only other person in the world – in any world – who has made me feel the same way is Cesca.
Helen and Tyler arrive moments after me. I hadn’t realized Helen would be joining us, but I try to temper my disappointment. Especially when Tyler gives me this enormous and slightly lopsided smile, as if we have a secretbigger than the universe. Feeling like conspirators makes me feel for a moment that I’m exactly where I belong.
I’m having a lovely evening and I can feel my anxiety slipping away in the warmth of their company. Maybe I was wrong about Helen. She seems … well, nice. Yes, she’s a tiny bit uptight, but I can hardly talk: I’m not normally the sunniest person alive when I’m with people I’ve never met before. And she really does seem to love her brother and Nessie. There’s a gorgeous camaraderie between them, a bond reinforced by time and a shared history spanning across the years.
