My shoulders drop, and I nod, blowing out a breath. “Does this ever get any easier?”
“Nope.” She laughs. “There’s always some sort of challenge every day. Wait until he starts bringing home school projects and you have to build a functioning volcano in less than twenty-four hours… that was fun.” She rolls her eyes playfully.
“I have so much to catch up on,” I whisper.
Blake’s face drops. “Yeah, you do, but I’ve got lots of memories and pictures to show you. I know it doesn’t erase the past, but hopefully it will help slightly.”
“I’d like that,” I agree, nodding.
“Is Theo—I mean Dad coming home for dinner?” Oscar asks.
I glance at Blake, who’s already looking at me. “I don’t know, bud. Dad? You coming for dinner?”
I don’t miss the way she doesn’t say home, but I guess it's not my home, it's theirs. I’m hit with a sudden case of jealousy, wanting their home to be mine.
But it won’t ever be.
Chapter Thirty-Three
BLAKE
Theo looks stunned, like what’s happening isn’t sinking in. My own thoughts are scrambled, so whatever’s happening in his head must be chaos. My heart threatened to explode in my chest while simultaneously dropping to my stomach when Oscar asked if Theo was his dad. That boy is too perceptive for his own good, but with two parents who are lawyers, it shouldn’t come as a surprise, I guess.
The only way was to be honest. Too much time has been stolen from us, and it needs to be fixed.
I watch as a bead of sweat drips down the side of Theo’s face, and I know I need to take the decision out of his hands. “Yeah, bud,” I call over my shoulder. “Dad’s coming for dinner.”
Oscar gathers his things behind me while talking about the new Transformers episode he wants Theo to watch with him. My eyes are glued to Theo’s, though, as I hum noncommittedly at my child.
He wipes his face as if coming out of his trance, nods, then clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m, uh, yup, I’m coming for dinner,” he stutters, a blush forming on his cheeks.
Watching this big, burly man at a loss for words would be pretty amusing if it weren’t for the situation.
“Let me take Oscar home. Come over around sixish?” I suggest, grabbing my coat and briefcase.
“Sure,” he replies, still not moving from his spot.
Ushering Oscar, I lead him out of the building and head for home, all the while lost in my own thoughts.
I’ve been pacing and wringing my hands together for the past ten minutes. I’m so nervous I can’t sit still. As soon as Oscar and I got home, I started dinner, then ran around the apartment like I had a fire up my ass trying to make the place somewhat tidy.
Oscar’s sitting at the dining table doing his homework, utterly oblivious to my impending breakdown. The doorbell rings, and I jump, shrieking as my nerves go into overdrive. I have nowhere to hide my hands, so you can clearly see them shaking.
Get it together, woman.
Walking across the small expanse of my living room, I stop at the door and check the peephole to make sure it’s him. The area we live in isn’t terrible, but you can never be too careful.
Theo’s hands are braced against the doorframe with his head hanging low, and he’s still wearing the same black suit from the office. I can see his chest rise and fall rapidly, which somehow calms me. He’s justas nervous as I am. I open the door, and his head swings up to meet my gaze, his eyes uncertain as he looks behind me.
“This still okay?” he murmurs. “I can go if either of you have changed your minds?”
I soften, giving him a small smile. “Get in here, big guy. Go and spend some time with your son. I’m just waiting for dinner to finish cooking, and then I’ll dish up.”
“Okay,” he says, sighing heavily.
I place a hand on his cheek, turning his gaze to me. It’s not something I should be doing, but with him, touching him seems like the most natural thing in the world. “He may not know you, Theo, but he loves you.”
I gesture for him to come in, and he shyly steps around me into the apartment. My gaze tracks him as he heads toward Oscar. He stops in front of him, saying something I can’t hear. Oscar looks up, and I watch my son's face go from quiet and determined to excitement and happiness. My heart does a somersault because that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him—to have more than what I did.
