“Not feeling the love right now, guys,” I mumble before snatching James’s beer out of his hand and stalk to the living room.
I throw myself down on the corner sofa; it’s one of those oversized cuddle chairs. I usually like it when Caleb comes and sits down next to me, but tonight I’m overstimulated and need them to leave me the fuck alone.
“How’s Raven?” I ask James, trying to distract myself. It’s easier to dive into someone else’s problems than face my own.
He looks tired, the bags under his eyes a big giveaway, as he sits down in the chair opposite me. He looks like he’s aged a decade, but I don’t have it in me to rib him about it. James lounges back, his jeans pulling tight around his thighs, and his T-shirt grips his biceps like they never want to let go. My best friend is one hell of a good-looking dude. He reminds me of McSteamy, though I was more of a McDreamy kinda guy myself.
He shoves a hand through his hair and sighs. Caleb and Noah bang around in the kitchen doing god knows what, so we have some time to talk uninterrupted.
“She’s doing okay. I just fucking miss her, man. I haven’t seen her in two weeks, and it’s killing me.”
“When are you gonna tell Drew?”
“Now’s not the time. They’re both going through some shit. He doesn’t need this added to it. The bruising is finally settling, and she’s got color back in her cheeks, but I can tell she’s haunted by it all.”
I nod, completely understanding. “She went through a horrific ordeal, man. She’s gonna be haunted, but she’ll get there eventually.”
“I know. I just wish I could hold her. I’ve already had to stop myself from driving over there several times.”
“Why don’t you let me take Drew watch this weekend? Go spend some time with your girl. I’ll keep him busy.”
“Don’t you have enough of your own shit going on?” he asks, eyebrow raised.
I shrug. “Be a good distraction.”
Caleb and Noah walk in, snacks in one hand and beer in the other. Caleb gives me another death glare, which doesn’t fill me with thewarm fuzzies, and Noah looks as grumpy as usual. His dark hair flops in front of his face, and he pushes it back, his brown eyes troubled.
“By my estimation, you have about thirty seconds to come clean before either Caleb or James beats it out of you,” Noah declares, sitting next to James.
“I would have thought you’d be the one beating it out of me. You know, seeing as you don’t particularly like me,” I snark, attitude clear in my tone. Yeah, I’m being a dick, but I can't stop it. I’m hurting, so I’m lashing out.
Noah looks shocked, but before he can say anything, Caleb—who’s great at sensing my mood—sits on the floor by Noah’s feet, distracting him. Caleb’s gaze hasn’t left mine, and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with the attention. I mean, I know I’m an attention whore, but not like this. Not when I have to share shit I don’t want to share.
“I really fucking hate you guys, you know that, right?” I grumble, taking a swig of my beer.
“No, you don’t,” James says in that deep voice of his. “You love us just like we love you, so out with it, asshole.”
Daddy James, ever the one with words.
“You remember Blake?” James and Caleb nod, but Noah looks at me like I have two heads. I sigh, rolling my eyes that I have to recant it to him. “Blake was someone I dated back when I was a junior lawyer. I was twenty-six, and she was eighteen.” Blank faces stare at me, listening. “We got close and spent a few months together. I found her one night with another guy, and I walked away, never to see her again.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you pummel his ass?” Noah exclaims.
I roll my eyes again. “Because, dickwad, I was so overcome with emotion I couldn’t think straight. I ran the fuck out of there like a damn coward while an ex-boyfriend was actually raping her.” I’mshouting by the end of it, angry with Noah and enraged at the guy, but most of all, I’m pissed at myself.
All three of them sit there with horrified expressions on their faces, the worst being James. He hated her as much as I did, so I know this will come as a shock to him.
“She… was… raped?” James manages to choke out.
He and Blake had met a couple of times while I was with her, but his main involvement was the night I’d tried to kill myself. I never told him how it came about, and he never asked, allowing me to keep my privacy. He just quietly gave me Mike's number and let me deal with it in my own way. Aside from hovering over me, that is.
“Yup.” I pop the P. My head is aching from the evening, and I’m desperate to climb into bed and forget it all happened. But I can’t because I’m a fuckingdad. I need to step the fuck up now more than ever and get my shit together.
“Fuck,” James says while Caleb nods his agreement.
“So how does this all fit into you having a kid?” Noah asks.
I swipe a hand down my face before answering. “Blake got pregnant?—”
