“Seven,” I answered, lifting the strap of my crossbody bag over my head. “She’s a cutie. From the last photo of her he sent me, she looks a little more like Lee now. She used to be all Katie.”
Mom let out a sigh, shaking her head while her gaze drifted across the room.
“Such a sin. My heart will always break for them.”
“Mine too,” I whispered.
Bennie had been only two when her mother had passed out at the wheel and crashed. Gary and I had rushed back to New York when it happened. We’d sat in silence with Lee at his apartment after the funeral while his daughter played on the carpet, not realizing her mother wasn’t coming home. Lee had reminded me so much of the boy I’d met that first day in group, only more broken than lost, and he hadn’t been the same since.
“Well, have a good time. You’re going to miss trivia night at the center,” Mom said, her red lips twisting into a smirk.
I laughed, relieved at the change in subject.
“I’m not sure I’m built for trivia night. Bingo was treacherous enough.”
She chuckled, her green eyes shining. Mom was still stunning in her late seventies, with only a few sparkles of gray in her black hair. She’d never dated after we’d lost ourfather, always saying she’d already had a perfect thing, so why settle for anything else?
I’d settled, even if I hadn’t realized it at the beginning. The betrayal still stung, but I didn’t miss a great love because I’d never had one.
What was worse—never finding the one or forever grieving the loss of them? The question rolled around in my head for the entire subway ride.
Alone didn’t seem so bad in comparison…or all that different, despite my having been in a relationship for the past two years.
It took me a good twenty minutes to find the box office at Wayne Field. The new stadium was huge enough to be intimidating, but I finally located ticket sales and scored a cheap first-level seat.
The inside was just as overwhelming. With so many shops and restaurants, it made some of the old malls I used to hang out at as a kid pale in comparison.
With Lee.
My brother had been there too, but he wasn’t my focus when I’d look back or the one who had colored all those core memories during the first years after we’d lost Dad.
I weaved a hand through my hair and let out a groan. Romanticizing my time with Lee through the lens of my battered ego wasn’t healthy. Maybe Bailee was right and I wasn’t as ready to see Lee as I’d thought I was.
But I’d bought my ticket, and I was here. I couldn’t see the Brooklyn Bats without at least trying to see Lee, even if the urge to sneak out after the game was over nudged at me.
I made my way to field level, where I expected the offices to be, trying to find someone who appeared as if they worked here. I spotted a concierge desk and headed over, now unsure of what I’d say. They probably hadrequests to see players all the time, but I wasn’t sure if asking for the team chiropractor would make me seem more or less crazy.
“Hi,” I said, cringing when I caught my voice squeak. “I’m an old friend of Lee Orrico’s. Would it be possible to say hi?”
A woman with blond hair slicked back into a tight bun assessed me through her black-rimmed glasses as she swiveled her chair toward me.
“We don’t let fans see any of the players or staff without clearance. I’m guessing he’s not expecting you.” Her pursed lips and narrowed eyes reminded me of my elementary school math teacher, even though she appeared to be around the same age as me.
“He’s not. Sorry, I’ll just text him that I’m here, and hopefully he sees. Thanks anyway.”
“Hey, you’re a friend of Lee’s?” a deep voice asked behind me. I turned to find Nate Becker standing by the desk, also scrutinizing me, but with less condescension than the concierge lady.
“Yes,” I said, again, my voice coming out like a croak. Nate was gorgeous in photos, but up close, he was so good-looking it was almost blinding. Dark hair curling at his neck, soulful chocolate eyes, and just the right amount of scruff dusting the perfect angles of his jaw. When he crossed his arms, his thick ballplayer biceps and wide shoulders were massive.
“We’re old friends and I wanted to surprise him, but I get that they can’t let anyone back without clearance.”
“I can take you back there. Lee doesn’t get any visitors here besides his family.” He jerked his chin down the hall. “I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. I’ll vouch for her, Justine.”
His lips curved as he threw her a wink, and I had to bite back a laugh at the blush staining her cheeks.
“I’m Nate,” he said, holding out his hand. “Nice to meet a friend of Lee’s.”
“Stella. Nice to meet you too.” I wasn’t a small girl, but my hand was lost in his. “Thank you for taking me back.”
