“But maybe you want pink sheets and towels,” Bennie said. I had to laugh when she winked at me.
“My daughter is very subtle. She says you love her room, so we should make yours pink too.”
“I do love her room,” Stella said as she settled onto the floor, crossing her legs under her. She wore leggings and a snug jacket, her chestnut hair billowing around her shoulders.
She looked casual. Cute. Beautiful.
I averted my gaze when my eyes drifted to where the zipper of her jacket teased her cleavage.
“I always wanted to live in a library, like the movieBeauty and the Beast,” Stella mused as she set up the game cards along the floor.
“Can you really live in a library?” Bennie asked, a confused crease in her forehead.
“In real life, I don’t know. But it’s something to think about since I won’t be living in hotel rooms anymore.”
“Nope, you’ll be living here,” Bennie said as she set one of the crowns from her game on her head.
Staying here, I wanted to correct, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment or think that far into the future.
I pretended to clean up the kitchen while I watched Stella and Bennie play on the living room floor. I couldn’t hear what they were saying beyond Bennie’s laugh as they spun a plastic wheel. A smile ran across my lips when Stella burst out laughing from whatever Bennie had whispered to her.
I smiled to myself, recalling all those afternoons hiding in my basement while we’d pretended to be at the grief group. The three of us would shit-talk one another over old, dusty boardgames, Stella’s belly laugh just as adorable now as it was back then.
I couldn’t and wouldn’t fuck up those memories by giving in to whatever temptations were messing with my head now.
“Okay,” Stella said as she slipped the game pieces back into the box. “You guys have plans this afternoon, so I’ll head back to my mom’s.”
“You can come with us,” Bennie said, tugging on Stella’s arm.
“I have to get a few things ready before I move in first, but I’ll be back and then here all the time.” Shetugged on Bennie’s ponytail. “Make sure to keep all the pieces in the box.”
“Okay,” Bennie said before throwing herself at Stella’s legs. “I can’t wait for Sunday.”
“Me too,” Stella said, bending to smooth the hair away from Bennie’s face.
“You get changed while I walk Stella out, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.” She mouthedpinkto me while I held the front door open for Stella.
“I don’t remember the princess games. You were holding back,” I teased.
“They were from before we knew you. If you play, the crowns fit nicely on men’s heads too,” she joked, a sad smile lifting her lips. “My dad used to indulge me sometimes.”
“Bennie is going to want to play all the time. I hope you know the monster you just created.”
She waved a hand at me as she leaned back on her car door.
“I’m ready for all the princess games.” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip—she really needed to stop doing that—as she met my gaze. “I could have waited until Sunday to show her, but I thought it would be a good distraction from Debbie leaving. And I wanted to check on you.”
“It was a good distraction, for both of us. I’d been trying to figure out how to keep us busy for the rest of the day. Which is why I’m about to drop a bunch of money on decorations for the house.”
Stella’s shoulders shook with a laugh.
“That’s good. Make it your house, not your parents’ or Debbie’s. Nice first step.”
“That was the plan. Listen,” I said, inching closer and holding her gaze, her eyes even lighter as the sunlight hit them and trapping me here on the curb.
I pressed my hand against the door and dropped my gaze to the ground for a minute, as if that would reset all the directions my mind and racing pulse were taking.
