“Where are you meeting Lee?”
“His house. I don’t know if he’s going to tell Bennie that I’ll be moving in tonight or wait until the next time I see them, but I’ll follow his lead.”
Mom bobbed her head in a slow nod, scrutinizing me but not saying a word. She’d been eerily quiet over the past week since I’d told her I’d be moving in with Lee to take care of his daughter until the fall. I wasn’t sure if it was because she’d miss having me here or that she didn’t approve of what I was doing after I left.
I didn’t need any more doubts, so I had let the silence settle between us and hadn’t pushed.
“What?”
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
I leaned my elbows on the table.
“I’m not sure what I want to do long-term. I’m definitely not living out of airports or my car anymore. I’ve been offered some remote assignments, but I need something different.”
“Playing house with Lee is certainly different.”
I flinched back, narrowing my eyes at my mother.
“I’m not playinghouse. I’m taking care of his daughter for the season while he’s on the road. He needed a full-time babysitter or he’d have to quit. And after everything that happened with Zach, it’s not a bad idea to stay somewhere with neighbors who will keep an eye on us.”
Mom stayed silent, her gaze expectant as if she was waiting for me to say something else or was holding herself back.
“Mom,” I said, dropping my hand on the table, “whatever it is, just spit it out.”
She averted her gaze from mine, her frown deepening as she shook her head.
“I’m worried. I’vebeenworried after what happened to you, but do you really think you can do this without it getting complicated?”
“How would it get complicated? Getting used to taking care of Bennie full time will be an adjustment, but it’s better than ornery CEOs who take offense at a marketing recovery plan they paid me for,” I tried to joke, but my mother didn’t budge.
“Okay, fine,” Mom said, shifting toward me. “I actually spoke to Dottie not too long ago. She wanted to see how I liked it here, but this was before her daughter decided to move. She said her son was doing well, but she told me that she’s worried he’ll never get over losing Katie.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “I agree with her, but I don’t understand where you’re going with this.”
“Yes, you do.” She reached out to pat my hand. “You’re moving in with Lee, taking care of his little girl, being in his space every single day when he’s not at home. That’s a lot.”
“So?” I said with a shrug. “I’ve known Lee for half my life.”
“And you’ve been in love with him for most of that time.”
“Mom…” I began, trailing off when I didn’t know how to finish.
My feelings for Lee weren’t a secret, just something I never talked about. Gary had never addressed it, other than constantly checking in with me after Lee’s wedding, as if he’d expected me to crumble.
Lee was the only one who’d never seemed to pick up on it.
“I had a crush. It happens, and I moved on.”
“You moved on but never settled. Not with Zach or anyone.”
I fell back in the chair, my mother’s words knocking the wind out of me. After all this newfound time to think, I’d realized that I’d never really loved Zach. I’d cared about him at the beginning, at least enough to agree to move in together, and it had been nice at first.
When things had become strained between us, I’d had no drive to work it out or even address it, the hassle of breaking up keeping us together even when we really weren’t anymore.
“All I’m asking is this,” Mom said, her chest rising as she took in a long breath. “If it gets to be too much, you’ll leave.”
“I can’t leave. I’m there for the season, or he’ll have to quit.”
