“For someone as smart as you are, you can be thick as a brick. I had sex with you because I’m interested. And since we slept together, I’m more interested.”
“Why? No, don’t answer. You always have answers. You confuse me. I don’t want to feel like this.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know! I need to go to the market, and I need to go home, and I need to finish my work, and—”
“You need to take a breath.” He laid his hands on her shoulders now. “Take a breath, Abigail.”
“I need to take a breath.” She closed her eyes, fighting the panic attack. Oh God, oh God, why hadn’t she stayed home?
“Good, just take another breath. Take it easy, that’s the way. Now, here’s what we’re going to do.”
“Don’t tell me what we’re going to do. There’s not supposed to be anywe.”
“Apparently, there is. How about here’s what I suggest we do? Why don’t we go over to my office. You can sit down, have some water.”
She shook her head. “I have to go to the market.”
“Okay, you go on to the market. Later, should be around six or six-thirty, I’ll come out. I’ll bring a couple of steaks and grill them up. We’ll have some dinner, see if we can sort this out.”
“We don’t need to have dinner or sort anything out. I just need to—”
Very gently, very quietly, he laid his lips on hers. When he lifted his head, her breath shuddered out.
“I’ve got the sense that’s what you don’t want to feel. But you do, and I do. So we ought to sort it out.”
“You won’t go away.”
“Let’s see how it sorts out. If it comes down to that, I’ll go away. I’m not going to hurt you, Abigail, and I’m going to do my best not to make you unhappy. But when two people feel something, they ought to respect that enough to try to figure it out.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, honey, I don’t. But I want to. Let’s get you to the market.”
“I don’t want you to walk me back there. I want to be alone.”
“All right. I’ll see you tonight.”
One more conversation, she told herself, as she hurried away. One more where she’d remain calm and rational. She’d simply explain that she wasn’t interested in or inclined toward a relationship. Her work kept her too busy for the distractions of dinners and company and overnight guests.
She would be firm; he would be sensible.
They’d end whatever this was that should never have begun amicably.
And everything would be quiet again.
As soon as she got home, she’d practice what she’d say and how she’d say it.
She’d be prepared.
* * *
She put off the practice,reminding herself her priority was, and would always be, the work. Maybe compartmentalizing proved a little trickier than she expected, but she carefully reviewed all the data she’d gathered, made a few small adjustments. And composed her e-mail.
Information you may find useful. Thank you for your attention and any action deemed appropriate.
Tvoi drug
