I was surprised that Godara had even heard of my mother. I thought my mother’s research had died with her, but perhaps it had contributed in some small way to whatever advancements were currently being made. I decided not to mention that my father was her unwilling patient zero or that she’d hidden her own infection from us to continue her work. It seemed less important now. Desperate times and all.
Godara then asked her usual battery of questions–about my appetite, my mental health, even my bowel movements. There were no secrets between us. When she finished her examination, she put away her tools and asked, “Have you thought about what you’re going to do next?”
“When I’m released?”
“When you no longer have to devote all of your time and energy to surviving.”
“You mean, like a job?”
She nodded, her gaze steady and sure. “Yes, your future career. You have a lot of potential, Cipher. Research, security, logistics, transport, all of these options are available to you here at StarChem Laboratories. It’s good to have a plan.”
I hadn’t expected to get career advice from Dr. Godara. Was she moonlighting as a high school guidance counselor? Trying to recruit me? I shrugged. “I honestly haven’t thought too much about it. Still seems like a pipe dream.”
“It’s not,” she said with a knowing look. “That future is closer than you think.”
Kitten visited me every afternoon,the same time each day. I looked forward to it from the time I woke up in the morning, and missed him as soon as he left my room with a soft smile and a little wave goodbye. We were only allowed one hour together, but we made the most of it, and he always came with a gift. One day it was a bouquet of flowers he’d picked from the garden on base. Another day it was two sugar cookies from the mess hall. Today, he had a rolled-up paper and was fisting it in one hand like a pirate.
“What’s this?” I said to him. I’d asked Godara to bring in a table and a second chair so that I didn’t always have to greet him while lying in my sickbed. I wanted him to see me as healthy and strong. I stood to give him a hug, our usual greeting, taking advantage of the closeness to smell him, which I usually did. The hugs never lasted long enough for me, but I didn’t want to be a creep.
“I made this for you,” he said after we’d sat down. He pushed the paper toward me, looking slightly nervous.
“Is it a naked drawing of you?” I asked just to tease him. He smiledandblushed, a win.
“No,” he whispered, scandalized. “Would you want that?’
I stared at him, feeling caught, not wanting to admit it but also not wanting to take it back either. I woulddefinitelywant that. My silence was confirmation enough for his smile to turn smug. “Open it,” he said.
Clearly it was precious. I took my time unwrapping it, unrolling the paper carefully to lay it flat on the table. It was a drawing, not of him unfortunately, but still amazing. Rendered in painstaking detail, it was a diagram of the entire StarChem base drawn to scale and labeled with descriptions in a tiny, neat print.
“Did you draw this?” I asked.
“Yes. There were many drafts before this one.”
“This is incredible.” I was impressed by his skills and flattered by the time and effort he’d spent in making it for me. I couldn’t have done a better job myself.
I knew from my conversations with Godara that the lab was in the basement of the base, the most secure area of the compound on account of the sort of patients they housed here, current and former Rabids like myself, though they didn’t call them that. The term “Rabid” was dehumanizing, Godara had told me, a hard habit to break.
“And we’re here?” I said, pointing at the sub-level floor.
“More like here.” He moved my finger with his, sending an electric jolt through me. I’d been dreaming of him constantly, the taste of his mouth and the texture of his skin. At night and in the daytime too. Some of my fantasies were so detailed they felt real. I definitely liked guys, and one guy in particular.
“I like maps,” I said with certainty. Some things came back to me with a sudden striking clarity. Like a gong going off in my head. This was one of them.
“Yes, you love maps. You always have one with you, even on our compound.”
“This is amazing, Kitten. You’ve done a really great job. It must have taken you forever.”
“I have the time, and I have more good news. Dr. Godara said we can take a walk outside today.”
“Why didn’t she tell me that herself?”
“Probably because I begged her on the way here,” he said with an impish grin. He probably got his way more often than not. I certainly wouldn’t deny him.
“I need shoes,” I said, glancing around. “Or a shoe at least.”
“I’ll help.”
Kitten went to my small closet and pulled out a boot that I’d assumed had been mine since most boots came in pairs but not this one. Steel-toed with good rubber tread, well-worn leather,all things I appreciated. “This is my boot,” I said, even having a vague memory of how I’d felt when discovering it. Scavenging.
