“Kitten?”
“Joshua.”
“Right.”
“Anyway, I’m telling you this so I can surrender my guns and you can find someone else better suited to the job. I’ll quit the drugs cold turkey and go back to being your carpenter’s apprentice, if you’ll have me.”
His hooded brow and sharp nose gave him the appearance of a bird of prey as he looked me over. He didn’t seem stunned or angered by my confession, but I could see his mind working all the same. Finally, he nodded. “I appreciate your honesty, Cipher, but I’m not ready to give up on you just yet.”
“You’re not?” I’d have given up on me long ago.
“Nope. You had a little setback. Your boyfriend, while sweet, isn’t made of the same stuff as you and me. Frankly, it’s astonishing he’s survived as long as he has, no offense.”
“None taken,” I said because hadn’t I thought the same?
“In any case, I want you to take the night off. Have dinner with Jeremiah and myself at my home tonight. Get a good night’s rest. We’ll try again in a day or so.”
“Is that an order?” I asked. I’d rather spend my free time with Kitten. There was a lot we needed to discuss, a lot I needed to make up for.
“Do you want it to be?” he said in a voice that told me he had no trouble issuing it as such.
“What about next time? What if I still can’t take the shot?”
He tilted his head and said in his wizened way, “This is just a hunch, mind you, but I’d wager that the next opportunity you have to kill that tiger, you’ll follow through.”
I wasn’t so sure I believed him. “You have a lot of faith in me, old man.”
Larry steepled his hands and looked me square in the eye. “I am nothing, if not a man of faith.”
* * *
After my meeting with Larry,I returned home, intent on seeing Kitten, but when I passed by Artemis on the stairs, she cornered me in the hallway.
“What is it?” I asked, alarmed by the way she’d practically bodied me up against the wall.
“I don’t know what’s up with you but you need to get your shit together and you need to do it soon.”
“Why? What’s going on?” I said in a sudden panic.
“You’re miserable to be around.” She glanced both ways. “Kitten isn’t happy.”
A punch in the gut would have hurt less, but I knew that already, didn’t I?
“Did he say something to you?”
“He’s worried about you. We all are. He knows you’ve been avoiding him and he knows you’re using more drugs than usual. Where are you getting them from?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Itdoesmatter, but more importantly, what the hell’s up with you?”
“I don’t know. I always kind of low-key hate myself. Kitten makes me forget sometimes, who I really am, and then I remember.”
She huffed at me and rolled her eyes. “You’re a good person, Cipher, but also an idiot at times. It’s not just about you anymore. Kitten loves you and this emo lone wolf bullshit is hurting him.”
I sighed inwardly. Of course I was hurting him. I’d been hiding things from him and barking at him whenever he started asking too many questions. He’d thought I might break up with him? As if. He’d have to cut me out like a cancerous tumor if he wanted to be rid of me–that’s how selfish I was–but Artemis was right. I needed to try and fix this before things got any worse.
“I’ll talk to him,” I said.
