“Do you love him?” I asked.
She sighed and didn’t answer right away. “I’m not good at expressing myself in that way. He’s much better at it than me. Maybe I’m a little bit superstitious.”
“Are you afraid to say how you feel?” Cipher had been the same way in the beginning and probably still was at times.
“I’m a little afraid of the ‘L’ word. Saying it out loud is too risky. And I don’t want to jinx what we have. ”
“That magazine said relationships are like a garden that needs tending. My mother always encouraged us to tell people how we felt, good or bad. I even had to tell my brother I loved him, and he was a real jerk sometimes. Don’t you tell Teresa that you love her?”
“That’s different. She’s like my little sister, my baby girl. I don’t have to worry she’s going to leave me or stop loving me. Teresa is my ride or die.” At my curious look, she went on to explain, “That means someone who is loyal to the end.”
Macon was the same, at least I thought so. I was going to mention it to her when she continued, “I had two little sisters, Jasmine and Kayla. They were…” She placed a hand against her heart and cleared her throat. “They were my whole world.”
I reached for her other hand. Artemis swallowed and nodded tightly. “We have to keep moving forward, Kitten. To dwell on the past is too painful.”
I nodded, realizing the advice she gave was probably just as much for herself as it was for us. We were all just trying to piece together the parts of us that were broken.
* * *
My last stopthat afternoon was the general store where Teresa was just finishing her shift. She introduced me to Sister Diane, who allowed me to select from the array of candy they kept in large glass jars, and I chose peanut brittle, something I’d tried once or twice before and felt like a safe bet. I wanted to ask for something for Cipher, but I didn’t want to take advantage of Sister Diane’s generosity. Maybe next time.
Teresa and I walked home together, holding hands like we usually did, and she told me about the various customers that had come through the store that day and what they had wanted. “Sister Diane says I’m sharp as a tack and I’ll start helping her with inventory next week.”
“Yeah, you are,” I said, glad that she was enjoying her placement. I shared with her my own experience at the birthing center and some of what I’d learned about human biology, which she said was gross but kept asking questions so she must have found it interesting too. “Miss Marion gave me a book. I can show you some pictures.”
“Yuck, but okay.”
As we were walking, a couple of guys who were headed in the opposite direction stopped when they reached us. One of them said to Teresa, “Hey, there, I’m Sebastian. You’re new here. Teresa right?”
Teresa’s eyes went wide as she squeezed my hand so hard that it hurt. At her panicked expression, I put my arm around her, placing myself between her and the boys. “This is Teresa and I’m Joshua Perrin-Rogers.” I held out my hand for him to shake.
“But you’re with that other guy. The one with the knives?” he asked me.
“Yes,” I said slowly.
“My friend and I are going to the game room up the street. You guys want to come?”
The game room held some appeal for me, but I had planned to start reading lessons with Teresa that afternoon. I didn’t want to decide for her, so I waited for her to speak.
“We’re busy,” Teresa said, then grabbed my arm and dragged me down the sidewalk. She quickened her pace and didn’t slow down even after we’d left the town center. We were practically jogging when we finally made it to our front door. Gizmo had given us all house keys that he’d forged at the machinist’s shop, and once we were inside, she slammed the door behind her and locked all five of the locks. Overkill maybe, but Cipher was the one in charge.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I like dresses and dolls and sweets and cats,” she said sharply. As if knowing her services were needed, Little Miss Purrfect appeared and Teresa scooped her into her arms. “I donotlike boys.”
“You like me and Cipher and Macon and Gizmo.”
“I donotlike strange boys, and I donotwant a boyfriend. I just want to be left alone.”
She sat on the floor with her skirts surrounding her and pet my cat, which was pretty muchourcat at this point. I offered to make us both tea and set about starting a fire in the oven, then set a kettle on top of it. By the time the water was hot and the tea had steeped, she seemed to have calmed down.
“There are probably people in town who will want to be friends with you, but it’s fine to tell them that you’re only interested in that or nothing at all,” I told her.
“Or I could hiss at them,” she said as if that were a perfectly reasonable solution. I laughed, recalling when I’d done the same to Cipher. And Teresa, even though she hadn’t known me at all, had joined in.
“That might work, though probably not when you’re dealing with customers.”
“They’ll call me cat girl and think that I’m wild.” She made her hands into claws, seeming to like the idea.
