“Pink because it’s pretty and soft.”
“Like you,” he said and opened his arms. I didn’t mind being called pretty and soft, not with the tender way he said it. I cuddled up to him while he dozed for a bit longer, until eventually, he sat up and stretched out the stiffness from the night before and gave me a cautious smile.
“Last night was a lot,” he said.
“Yeah, but I’m glad it happened.”
He nodded. “Me too.”
During our morning routine, neither of us spoke about what he had shared, but we were both a little more careful with each other. I poured him tea and brought breakfast to our tent where he was cleaning and assembling his weapons, wanting to have a little more time with him before we joined the others.
“Thank you,” he said almost shyly.
“You’re welcome.”
After breakfast, I helped him pack his things, insisting he take an extra sock and a second container of water too. I packed him the rest of our beef jerky, along with various nuts and dried fruit that were our staples when we’d hiked north from Birmingham.
“There’s just one more thing I need,” he said when his pack was ready to go.
“What is it?” I asked, glancing around at the mess we’d made of our tent.
“A kiss from my baby.”
I tugged him to me and poured all of my feelings into that kiss, hoping he’d know how proud I was of him and how much I adored him, the closeness I felt and the confidence we shared, and maybe even that I loved him.
“Come back in one piece,” I said, but really I just wanted him to come back. “Keep the radio turned on.”
“Wouldn’t want to fall behind on the gossip.”
“Check in with us,” I said sternly. “Remember, you’re not a lone wolf. You’re part of a pack.”
“I am alpha though,” he said.
I rolled my eyes at that. “Sure, you’re alpha.”
He said goodbye to the rest of our crew, each of them saying something encouraging in return, and I walked with him to the exterior gate. The doors opened on their rusty hinges and he continued on alone, pausing once to glance back at me. He smiled and waved and blew me a kiss. I caught it in my hand and held it to my heart.
Then the doors closed and he was gone.
TWENTY-ONE
CIPHER
After my breakdownthe night before, I thought the physical space would do me some good, but I missed Kitten as soon as the doors to Promised Land closed behind me. His bravery and his capacity for understanding continued to amaze me. He’d forgiven me for killing his mother, he’d followed me two hundred miles, most of them on foot, to a place he’d never been before, and he’d treated me with nothing but compassion when I’d confessed my most shameful secrets.
For the first time since the plague hit, I felt truly blessed. Not in any religious sense, more like… gratitude. Thank you, universe, for sending me this person to show me how to have fun and make me laugh and remind me how to be young and carefree again. Kitten had seen several sides of me now, not all of them pretty, and he hadn’t high-tailed it yet. Knowing he was waiting for me was the motivation I needed to track down this midwife and secure our spots within the gates of Promised Land.
But something was stalking me in these woods. Some being with more cunning and patience than a Rabid, but if it was a raider, I wasn’t sure what they wanted. If they’d wanted to steal my gear, or God forbid, rape and murder me, they could have tried it already. Perhaps they were waiting for me to let down my guard. Or maybe they wanted to take me alive.
I’d packed light for this trip, not wanting to be weighed down in case I needed to run. I had my tarp and an extra dry sock that Kitten insisted I take, two canisters of water, a filter to purify more, and my food. Most of my weight was from my weaponry, but I was used to that by now.
Could my stalker be a bear or some other wild animal? When the power went out, which was around the same time as the first Rabid onslaught, the zoos and animal preserves went haywire. For a long time there were big game hunters bringing down exotic animals for a bounty. They’d tried to do the same with Rabids, but taking trophies spread the virus. And a lot of innocent, healthy people were murdered just for the money–a bad idea all around.
I tried to shake off this feeling of being watched, hoping it was all in my head, but just in case, I varied my route to see if I could elude my pursuer or flush them out. Even still, the sense that I was being hunted remained.
During my first night in the woods I built a fire, though I hardly slept. I’d trained my body to go for a couple days without anything more than cat naps. It wasn’t good for me, but neither was smoking cigarettes or relying on narcotics to sleep. While feeding the fire, I reflected on my confession to Kitten. It felt good to get it off my chest, the fact that I’d destroyed my entire family and killed my sister. Of course it was her choice to overdose, but I’d driven her to the brink. And my mother… Kitten told me it wasn’t my fault and even seemed to believe it.
I hoped to one day believe it too.
